February
7, 1975

Directed
by Greg Garrison

Written
by Harry Crane, George Bloom, Tom Tenowich, Milt Rosen, Don Hinkley,
Peter Gallay, Stan Burns, and Mike Marmer

Dean
Martin
(Roastmaster) was
born Dino Paul Crocetti in Steubenville, Ohio, in 1917. He made his
screen debut in a short playing a singer in Art Mooney’s band, but
his first big screen role was 1949’s My
Friend Irma with
Jerry Lewis. This began a partnership that would be one of the most
successful screen pairings in cinema history. Later, he also worked
frequently members of “the Rat Pack”: Frank Sinatra, Joey Bishop,
Peter Lawford, and Sammy Davis Jr. His persona was that of a playboy,
usually seen with a glass of booze and a cigarette. Martin and
Lucille Ball appeared on many TV variety and award shows together and
made the TV movie “Lucy Gets Lucky” in 1975 as well as a 1966
episode of “The Lucy Show.” He died on Christmas Day in 1995 at
age 78. 

Dean Martin: “There isn’t anything this girl can’t do. She can sing, she can dance, she can get laughs – especially from her singing and dancing.”

Lucille
Ball (Woman
of the Hour)  was
born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen
career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’
due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning,
she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which
eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television
situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband,
Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful,
allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming
it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known
as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s
marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy
returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted
six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s
Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr.,
as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show”
during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more
attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon,
which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes.

Lucille Ball: “During my lifetime, I’ve had audiences with the Pope, I’ve dined with presidents…but being here tonight with people in my own business, I can honestly say how great it was being with the Pope and the presidents.”

On
The Dais (in order of speaking)

Phyllis Diller was an actor and stand-up comedian best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh. Diller and Lucille Ball never acted together, but did appear on various TV specials and talk shows together. In 1972 female impersonator Jim Bailey played Phyllis Diller on a 1972 episode of “Here’s Lucy.”  She died in 2012 at age 95.

Phyllis Diller: “Lucy is my kind of a girl. We’re both cut from the same mold. It’s just that I’m moldier.”

Dick Martin was born Thomas Richard Martin on January 30, 1922, in Battle Creek, Michigan. He is probably best remembered as the co-host of “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” from 1967 to 1973. As a teenager he lost a lung to tuberculosis and used bottled oxygen for the rest of his life. Martin was a writer for the popular radio show “Duffy’s Tavern” before teaming up with Dan Rowan in the 1950s. They played nightclubs and Las Vegas before Martin being cast as Harry Conners, his ‘acting’ debut on the first season of “The Lucy Show.” He was married three times and died in 2008 of respiratory failure.

Dan Rowan was the comedy partner of Dick Martin, and, like Martin, is best known as the co-host of “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” which aired from 1968 to 1973 and earned him a 1972 Emmy Award. In 1966 he had appeared with Lucille Ball on “The Dean Martin Show.” Rowan made two appearances on “The Lucy Show.” He died in 1987 at age 65.

Dan
Rowan and Dick Martin
roast Lucy together, befitting their comedy partnership as the hosts
of the recently canceled “Laugh-In.” When Martin was cast as
Lucy’s love interest on the first season of “The Lucy Show,” he
made it clear that he had to have time off to do his club dates with
Rowan.  Although Rowan also appeared on the show, the two were never
in the same episodes.  

Ruth Buzzi (as Gladys Ormphby) came to national recognition when she teamed up with Dom DeLuise as an incompetent magician and she his assistant who never spoke but sported a wide grin. The audiences demanded more of them and they eventually played several major nighttime television variety shows. She was cast on “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” creating the character of Gladys Ormphby, a homely woman with a hairnet and a lethal handbag who was often found on a park bench. She played Annie Whipple on a 1972 episode of “Here’s Lucy.” In 1986, Ruth Buzzi guest-starred (with John Ritter) on the second episode of “Life With Lucy.” She was nominated for five Emmy Awards and won a Golden Globe in 1973.   

Ruth
Buzzi appears
as the character she created on “Laugh In.”
Gladys says she was Lucy’s old roommate when they were both showgirls
starting out. Buzzi is the only one on the dais to play a character,
and not roast Lucy as herself.  

Bob
Hope was
born Lesley Townes Hope in England in 1903. During his extensive
career in virtually all forms of media he received five honorary
Academy Awards. In 1945 Desi Arnaz was the orchestra leader on Bob
Hope’s radio show. Ball and Hope did four films together. He
appeared as himself on the season
6 opener of
“I Love Lucy.” He did a brief cameo in a 1964 episode of “The
Lucy Show.” 
When
Lucille Ball moved to NBC in 1980, Hope appeared on her
welcome special.
He died in 2003 at age 100. 

Bob Hope: “Lucy’s always doing nice things. Even though she’s not with Desi anymore she got him a job as a dialogue coach on ‘Chico and the Man’.”

Milton Berle was born Milton Berlinger in New York City on July 12, 1908. He started performing at the age of five. He perfected his comedy in vaudeville, early silent films, and then on radio, before taking his act to the small screen, where he would be proclaimed “Mr. Television” and later “Uncle Miltie.” He hosted “Texaco Star Theater” on NBC from 1948 to 1956. The variety show was re-titled “The Milton Berle Show” in 1954 when Texaco dropped their sponsorship. The program was briefly revived in 1958, but lasted only one season. In 1959 he played himself in “Milton Berle Hides out at the Ricardos.”  Berle continued to perform live, in films, and on television specials for the remainder of his career. Berle was seen in four episodes of "The Lucy Show” and two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” On all but one, he again played himself. He died of colon cancer in 2002. 

Milton Berle: “Lucille Ball has emerged as the sex symbol for men who no longer care.”

Gary Morton was a comedian who worked the famed ‘Borscht Belt’ in the Catskills Mountains. He met Lucille Ball shortly after her divorce from Desi Arnaz and they married in November 1961. At her request, Morton gave up his nightclub career and became a producer of “The Lucy Show.” Morton also served as a warm-up comic for the show’s studio audience. He made several on-camera appearances on “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy.” Morton passed away in 1999.

Gary Morton: “I’m in a very delicate position, having to roast my own wife. I can just picture her tonight, setting the electric blanket to ‘headache.’”

Gale Gordon was said to be the highest paid radio artist of the 1930’s and was in such demand that he often did two or more radio shows a day. His professional collaboration with Lucille Ball started in 1938 as the announcer of Jack Haley’s “The Wonder Show” (Wonder Bread was their sponsor). He played Mr. Atterbury on Lucy’s “My Favorite Husband” and was a front-runner for the part of Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” When scheduling prevented his participation, he appeared as Mr. Littlefield, the Tropicana’s owner in two episodes of the show. In addition to Mr. Littlefield, he played a Judge in “Lucy Makes Room for Danny,” a 1958 episode of “The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour.” “The Lucy Show” solidified his partnership with Lucille Ball for the rest of their careers. He went on to play Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy,” Omar Whittaker in “Lucy Calls The President,” and Curtis McGibbon in “Life with Lucy.” He died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Gale Gordon: (to Lucy) “Mrs. Morton, Vivian Vance is funnier than you are.”

Totie Fields was born Sophie Feldman in 1927 (some sources cite 1930). ‘Totie’ was a childhood nickname derived from a baby’s pronunciation of ‘Sophie’. She was a nightclub comedienne whose first big break came on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”  After that, she appeared on many TV talk and variety shows. She made a rare ‘acting’ appearance on a 1972 episode of “Here’s Lucy.” Fields was diabetic and had a leg amputation in 1976. Her health declined and she died in 1978.  

Totie Fields: “Lucy darling, you have been a big star for many, many years and it must kill ya to see a young kid like me stepping into your shoes.”

Rich Little was born in Canada in 1938. He was a nightclub comic who became famous for his vast repertoire of impressions. His screen career began in 1964 and he appeared on virtually every TV talk and variety show over the next thirty years. He was known as “The Man of a Thousand Voices.” He guest-starred on a 1971 episode of “Here’s Lucy.”

Rich Little does his imitations of Carol Channing, Paul Lynde, Johnny Carson, and Nelson Rockefeller, the man elevated to Vice President in December 1974 when Ford assumed the presidency after Nixon’s resignation.

Henry Fonda first worked with Lucille Ball in the 1935 film I Dream Too Much. They also teamed for The Big Street (1942) and Yours Mine and Ours (1968). Fonda was nominated for three Oscars, winning in 1982 for On Golden Pond. He also won an honorary Oscar in 1981. Uncomfortable with comedy, he never acted opposite Lucille Ball on television. Fonda died in 1982 at age 77.  

Henry Fonda tells a humorous (probably apocryphal) story of dating Lucy when she first got to Hollywood.  

Ginger
Rogers
was
born Virginia Katherine McMath in Independence, Missouri on July 16,
1911, just one month before Lucille Ball. As a singing and dancing
actor, Rogers was mainly know for her partnership with fellow singer
/ dancer Fred Astaire in ten films. It was said that “Ginger
did everything that Fred did, except backwards – and in
heels!” During
the 1930’s Lucille Ball did five films with Rogers, whom she
considered a mentor.  By the 1970s Rogers had entered
semi-retirement although she did guest star on “Here’s Lucy” in
1971. Lucie Arnaz has said that Rogers may have been a distant cousin
of Lucille Ball’s. She won an Oscar in 1940 for Kitty
Foyle,
a rare dramatic role. Rogers died in 1995.

Ginger Rogers: “I’ve known Lucy longer than anyone here, I think its safe to say that. What’s not safe to say is how I feel about her.”

Foster Brooks was a newscaster and disc jockey before switching to television newscasting. His drunk act went over well with crowds at Las Vegas nightclubs and on television. Brooks was a frequent guest on talk and variety shows and several Dean Martin celebrity roasts. He actually quit drinking in the early 1960s (on a bet) and remained ‘on the wagon’ for the rest of his life. In 1973 he guest-starred on an episode of “Here’s Lucy.” He was nominated for an Emmy for his work with Dean Martin. He died in 2001 at age 89.  

Foster Brooks does his drunk act, naturally. His jokes are based on the (made up) premise that he and Lucy were high school sweethearts in Jamestown. He playfully calls her ‘Big Red,’ ‘Lucille Bald,’ and ‘Cherry Head.’

Nipsey Russell was a comedian whose first major role was Officer Anderson in “Car 54, Where Are You?” (1961). Russell was a mainstay on variety shows, appearing on “Laugh-In,” “The Dean Martin Show” (1965), and the “Jackie Gleason Show,” among many others. In the 1970s Russell became a popular game show panelist, appearing on “To Tell The Truth,” “Match Game PM” (1975), and many others. He was known as television’s poet laureate. His film roles were few, but he will always be remembered for his role of the Tin Man in The Wiz (1978). He died in 2005 of cancer.

Nipsey Russell is the only panelist (aside from Phyllis Diller) who never acted opposite Lucille Ball.

Jack Benny was born on Valentine’s day 1894. He had a successful vaudeville career, and an even greater career on radio with “The Jack Benny Program” which also became a successful television show. His screen persona was known for being a penny-pincher and playing the violin. Benny was a Beverly Hills neighbor of Lucille Ball’s and the two were off-screen friends. Benny previously appeared on “The Lucy Show” as Harry Tuttle (a Jack Benny doppelganger) in “Lucy and the Plumber” (TLS S3;E2), did a voice over cameo as himself in “Lucy With George Burns” (TLS S5;E1), and played himself in “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” (TLS S6;E6). He also appeared in  three episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”  Benny and Ball appeared on many TV variety and award shows together. He died in 1974.

Jack
Benny
says that he’s enjoyed his trip to Las Vegas because Fred MacMurray
got him a good seat on the bus. In the 1970s, TV and film actor
MacMurray was spokesman for Greyhound Bus Lines. 

This
was the last public appearance of Jack Benny. Benny died weeks after
the taping of this special. Dean Martin appeared in a special
introduction dedicating the show to Benny’s memory. 

Vivian Vance was born Vivian Roberta Jones in Cherryvale, Kansas in 1909, although her family quickly moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico where she was raised. She had extensive theatre experience, co-starring on Broadway with Ethel Merman in Anything Goes. She was acting in a play in Southern California when she was spotted by Desi Arnaz and hired to play Ethel Mertz, Lucy Ricardo’s neighbor and best friend. The pairing is credited with much of the success of “I Love Lucy.”  Vance was convinced to join the cast of “The Lucy Show” in 1962, but stayed with the series only through season three, making occasional guest appearances afterwards. She made six appearances on “Here’s Lucy” although she also joined Lucy for a TV special “Lucy Calls the President” in 1977. Vance died two years later. 

Vivian Vance (to Lucy): “You probably don’t remember me. But we go back a long way.”   

Don
Rickles
worked
as a stand-up comic in nightclubs for nearly 20 years before making
his film debut in 1958. Rickles was known as an insult comic and
became a staple of Hollywood roasts. In 1967 he played a prize
fighter on an episode of “The Lucy Show.” He would be seen with
her on variety shows and specials through 1988.  Rickles was the
voice of Mr. Potato Head in the animated Toy
Story franchise. He
died in April 2017 at age 90.  

Don Rickles: “I must be honest.  I never liked Lucille Ball, I never did.”

Juicy Roast Trivia

The
“Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts” were taped in the Celebrity Room
of Las Vegas’ MGM Grand Hotel. 

The hotel (destroyed by fire in 1980) was
also seen in “Lucy Gets Lucky” which co-starred Dean Martin and
was filmed in and around the newly opened casino hotel. The
establishing footage of “Lucy Gets Lucky” is nearly identical to
that of this roast.  

“The
Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts” originated on NBC’s “The Dean
Martin Show” (1965-74) before becoming stand-alone specials. This
was just the third of the ‘stand-alone’ roasts. Lucille Ball sat on
the dais to roast her good friend Danny Thomas in December 1976 and
for Jimmy Stewart in June 1978.  

The
afternoon this roast first aired, Lucille Ball’s daughter, Lucie
Arnaz, appeared on ABC’s “The $10,000 Pyramid.”  

On
the animated series “Family
Guy”
(S13;E16) Lucille
Ball is briefly seen as a celebrity roaster for Sammy Davis,
Jr. in
a Dean Martin roast
infomercial.
Martin did indeed roast Sammy Davis Jr., on April 24, 1975, although
Lucille Ball was not actually on the dais.

In
October 2014, “Saturday
Night Live”
presented a sketch about a roast in heaven hosted by Joan Rivers
(Sarah Silverman). Lucille Ball (played by Kate McKinnon) was on the
dais of ‘dead celebrities.’

“The Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts” are available on DVD or by streaming.   

ROAST BEEFS

There is some racial-based humor on this particular 1975 roast that would never be acceptable on television today. Nipsey Russell is the only person of color on the dais. 

Foster Brooks: “Lucy and I were drawn to each other physically. Like two moths to a sock. I was a lusty larva and she had a cute cocoon. (looks over at Nipsey Russell) No offense to the colored man on the dais.”   

[Note: While saying the word ‘cocoon’ Brooks has one of his usual ‘alcohol induced’ pauses between the first syllable and the second.]

Nipsey Russell: “In all her years on television, Lucille Ball never used a black performer. And we want her to know from the bottom of our hearts we appreciate. We had enough trouble.”  

Russell’s self-deprecating joke is not exactly true. Sam McDaniel (Hattie’s brother) played a train porter (with lines) on “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5) in 1955. Betty Allen appeared as a Kildoonan townsperson in “Lucy Goes to Scotland” (ILL S5;E17) in 1956. Ball made a conscious effort to integrate the day players employed on “Here’s Lucy” in the early 1970s. Sammy Davis Jr. guest-starred in 1970 and Flip Wilson in 1971. Although these two men were both major celebrities, lesser known

John William Sublett (aka the “Father of Rhythm Tap” and the original Sportin’ Life in Porgy and Bess) played a supporting role in two 1967 episodes of “The Lucy Show.”

Later in the telecast, insult comic Don Rickles suddenly barks at Nipsey Russell “Shut up!  I hate when a spade butts in!”  Russell dutifully stands up and tells him to stop saying ‘spade’ which sends Rickles into a mock tap dance.

As shocking as this sort of racial name-calling is by today’s standards, the entire Celebrity Room erupts in laughter, as does everyone on the dais.  

Outside of the racial slurs, this (and most of the roasts) relied not only on jokes about the man or woman of the hour, but also about Dean Martin (his drinking) and anyone else sitting on the dais.  There are numerous cutaway shots to celebrities laughing every time a joke is told.  In the end, there are no real barbs slung at Lucille Ball. No one jokes about Ball’s strict work ethic, her temper, her mixed marriage and divorce, or anything touching the real world.  Overall, these were fairly toothless, self-aggrandizing affairs.  

As of this writing (4/14/2018) only Ruth Buzzi and Rich Little are still alive. 

This
Date in Lucy History
–  February
7th

"Hollywood at Last!”
(ILL S4;E17) – February 7, 1955

“Lucy
Goes to a Hollywood Premiere”
(TLS S4;E20) – February 7, 1966

“Lucy’s
Punctured Romance”
(HL S4;E22) – February 7, 1972