S1;E24
~ March 17, 1969

Directed
by Jack Donohue ~ Written by Milt Josefsberg and Ray Singer

Synopsis

When
Craig turns 16, naturally he wants to get his driver’s license. Much
to the dismay of the nervous driving inspector (Jack Gilford), Lucy
insists on playing back seat driver during the road test!  

Regular
Cast

Lucille
Ball (Lucy
Carter), Gale
Gordon (Harrison
Otis Carter), Lucie
Arnaz (Kim
Carter), Desi
Arnaz Jr. (Craig
Carter)

Guest
Cast

Jack
Gilford
(Wilbur Hurlow) began
his career in the Amateur Nights of the 1930s moving on to nightclubs
doing satire and pantomime.
He
was nominated for Tony awards for best supporting actor in the
musical A
Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1962)
and
Cabaret
(1966).

He
was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for the
film Save
the Tiger
(1973).
He
is perhaps best remembered as the guy on the Cracker Jack commercials
from 1960-1972.
This is his only appearance opposite Lucille Ball. Gilford died in
1990.  

The surname ‘Hurlow’ will be used as the name of a policeman (Robert Carson” in “A Home is Not an Office” (S5;E4) and

a nurse (Mary Wickes) in “Lucy and Harry’s Tonsils” (S2;E5). Wickes also played a secretary named Hurlow in “Lucy and Robert Goulet” (TLS S6;E8).  

Wilburn Hurlow’s mother is obviously deceased. He addresses her frequently by looking heavenward! 

Herkie
Styles
(First Clerk) was a veteran nightclub comedian making his final
screen appearance.  

Sid
Gould
(Second Clerk) made
more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background
characters. This is one of his 40 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”
Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by
marriage to Gary Morton. 

Joseph
Mell
(Third Clerk) was seen in five episodes of “The Lucy Show.”
In 1964 he appeared in the TV special “Mr. and Mrs.” (aka “The
Lucille Ball Comedy Hour”), which featured many of the Desilu
regulars. In 1971, he was a Taxi Driver on “Lucy and the Lecher,”
a cross-over episode of Danny Thomas’s “Make Room for Granddaddy”
in which Lucille Ball played Lucy Carter, her character from “Here’s
Lucy.”
This is his only appearance on the series.

Ray
Kellogg
(Policeman) played
the barking Assistant Director (“Roll
‘em!”)
in “Ricky’s
Screen Test” (ILL S4;E6)
and later appeared in “Bullfight
Dance” (ILL S4;E22).
He was seen on 7 episodes of “The Lucy Show.” This is the second
of his two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” 

Murray
Pollack (DMV Clerk,
uncredited) was
seen as one of the party guests in “Country
Club Dance” (ILL S6;E25),
the episode that introduced Barbara Eden. Coincidentally, he later
appeared on half a dozen episodes of “I Dream of Jeannie.” He was
at the airport when “The
Ricardos Go to Japan”
(1959).
He was seen in the 1963 movie Critic’s
Choice with
Lucille Ball. He made two appearances on “The Lucy Show.” This is
the second of his three episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”

David Elam (DMV Clerk, uncredited) started doing background work in 1957. He made two appearances on Desilu’s “The Untouchables”. Elam was at the wedding of Mike and Carol Brady in 1969. This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.

Alberto Morin (DMV Clerk, uncredited) was born in Puerto Rico, and appeared in some of Hollywood’s most cherished films: Gone with the Wind (1939), Casablanca (1943), and Key Largo (1948). He was Carlos, one of Ricky’s “Cuban Pals” (ILL S1;E28) and the Robert DuBois in “The French Revue” (ILL S3;E7). His many background appearances on “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy” were all uncredited.

Clarence Landry (Man at DMV, uncredited) made at least half a dozen appearances on the series. This was the first. Landry and  Vernord Bradley were a tap dance duo who appeared in in the Vitaphone 1941 short Minstrel Days. Like his fellow extra Frieda Rentie, he was also seen in the 1958 film South Pacific. 

Frieda Rentie (Woman at DMV, uncredited) makes the first of at least four appearances on the series. Rentie was in the original 1958 film of South Pacific and in 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure.

Others
at the Motor Vehicle Bureau are played by uncredited background
performers.

This episode’s title is also sometimes listed as “Lucy Helps Craig Get HIS Driver’s License.” 

This episode was aired on St. Patrick’s Day 1969, although there is no mention of it in the dialogue. Lucy does, however, wear a green blouse and skirt! 

This
is the last show of the first season, and the last installment for
long-time employee, producer Tommy
Thompson.
Lucille Ball brings in her cousin Cleo Smith to produce the rest of
the series. 

The first season ended at number 9 in the ratings with a 23.8
share. The first DVD release was on August 25, 2009.

Craig
is marking his 16th birthday. His age was mentioned two weeks earlier in “Lucy’s Safari”
(S1;E22, above). As the world knows, Desi Arnaz Jr.’s actual birthdate is January 19th.
He, like Craig, also turned 16 in 1969.  

Craig
can’t wait to to go to a drive-in movie with Steve, Peggy and
Barbara. Steve probably refers to Steve March, the son of Mel Torme and the adopted son of Arnaz family friend, Hal March. Steve will appear in “Lucy and the Bogie Affair” (S2;E13, above), “Lucy the Crusader” (S2;E13), and “Lucy and Sammy Davis Jr.” (S3;E3). He also will write the song “Country Magic” for “Lucy and Ann-Margret” (S2;E20).

 

Peggy and Barbara are new to a list of Craig’s gal pals that includes Carol and Susie and Doreen… and Eileen and
Josephine… and Betty and Annie… and Lori and Elsie!   

A few months later, the show presents “Lucy at the Drive-In Movie” (S2;E8, above), although it is Kim with a date at the ‘passion pit’, not Craig.

For
his birthday, Uncle Harry gives Craig his favorite book when he was
16: Tom
Swift and His Electric Rifle, a
young
adult novel
written
by the Stratemeyer
Syndicate
writers
using the pen name Victor
Appleton.
It is volume 10 in the original Tom
Swift
novel
series first published
in 1911. Uncle Harry puts a check for $50 inside. He promises he’ll
sign it when Craig turns 21.  

Lucy
gives her son a wallet with a ten dollar bill tucked inside. Kim
gives her brother a turtle neck sweater she knit herself. It turns
out to be short on turtle and long on neck!

Craig’s vision is so good he can see the tiny fine print on the eye chart: “Made by the Acme Printing Company.”

To help her son pass the eye test, Lucy gets a closer look at the chart, much to the chagrin of the clerk (Sid Gould). “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11) also used the Snellen Eye Chart, named after Dutch ophthalmologist Herman Snellen, who developed it in 1862. Note that between 1953 and 1969, the chart has not changed. Now, however, eye doctors use an improved chart known as the LogMAR chart. 

Lucy questions the clerk (Joe Mell) as to why Craig has to have his photograph taken in profile, while the man before him was photographed facing the camera. Craig correctly sites California law enacted in 1965 that those under 21 be photographed in profile for quicker identification by law enforcement officials. 

California law now requires teens be subject to “provisional license restrictions” and full face photos are required for facial recognition software. 

Lucy embarrasses Craig by telling the clerks that Craig has an identifying mole on his backside! 

When
Lucy objects to her son being fingerprinted like a common criminal,
the clerk notes that the only two people to object to being
fingerprinted were Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie
Parker (1910–34)
and Clyde
Barrow
(1909–34)
were notorious criminals who traveled with their gang during the Great
Depression, robbing people and killing when cornered or confronted. A
popular film about their lives was released in August 1967 (above)
winning two Academy Awards. The film was mentioned several times on
“The Lucy Show.”  

Craig takes his road test in Lucy’s car, a 1965 yellow convertible Dodge Dart In the parking log there are also a red 1969 Plymouth GTX and a blue station wagon waiting to take the road test.

The car turns up again in “Lucy at the Drive-In Movie” (S2;E8), although with a different license plate.

It was also driven by Sergeant Carter on Desilu’s “Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C” (above) in 1965.

The car’s license plate (WHO-526) will appear again on the camper that the Carters drive in the on location episodes that open season two of the series.

As Inspector Hurlow (Jack Gilford) comes toward the car, Lucy and Desi Jr. indulge in some silly ad lib muttering they probably didn’t expect to be heard on microphone.

CRAIG: “That’s him!”
LUCY: “Really? How do you know?”
CRAIG: “They all have curly hair.”

The
episode uses actual location footage of the road test through the
streets of Los Angeles, which was matched in the studio with a rear
projection process shot. This technique was previously seen in “Lucy
and the Great Airport Chase” (S1;E18) and was done for the first
time on television in “California,
Here We Come!” (ILL S4;E12). Due to the distance and the speed of the car, it is not possible to tell if the occupants of the vehicle are actually Ball, Arnaz, and Gilford, or actor doubles, as was done during location filming for the trip to California on “I Love Lucy.” 

In the first shot, the vehicle is driving toward the camera with Hollywood headquarters of World Opportunities Inc. in the background and the Hollywood Hills in the distance. A General Tire location is on the right. 

The
background footage then shows the RCA building (now the Hollywood Film School) in the
background, which means the car was traveling south on Sunset  Boulevard in Hollywood, the same street that Paramount (formerly
Desilu) studios is on. Ironically, RCA was the parent company of NBC
and “Here’s Lucy” was a CBS show!  By the look of the cars on the street in the process shots, the background footage was not recent when it was used on “Here’s Lucy.” 

At one point Mr. Hurlow tells Lucy that if she wants to help she should “take the bus and leave the driving to us.”  This was the popular slogan of Greyhound Bus Lines. The slogan will be quoted again in “Lucy the Laundress” (S2;E17) and “Lucy and the Used Car Dealer” (S2;E9).    

Mr.
Hurlow passes Craig on his road test, noting that if he can drive
with Lucy in the back seat, he can drive at the
Indianapolis Speedway.
This is a reference to the motor raceway that
is
home of the Indianapolis
500
and
formerly the home of the United
States Grand Prix.
It is located six miles west of Downtown
Indianapolis,
Indiana. The name has become synonymous with fast driving, especially in jokes. 

Lucy
lets it slip that she has a New York State driver license that she
got five or six years ago and tells Mr. Hurlow she’s only lived in
California for three years. This sounds very much like the back
story of Lucy Carmichael of “The Lucy Show.” It is also revealed
that in New York Lucille Carter was a brunette. Craig helpfully says the
California sun bleached it.

Hurlow
is secretly thrilled that Lucy has an invalid license and sings to
himself “Every
cloudy day, has a silver lining.”
 He adds that after he’s through with her she’ll be lucky to drive a
tricycle in Griffith Park. Griffith
Park
is
a large municipal
park
at
the eastern end of the Santa
Monica Mountains
in Los
Angeles,
California.
The park covers 4,310 acres, making it one of the largest urban
parks
in
North
America.
It
is the second-largest city park in California. It is named for
Griffith J. Griffith, a land developer who bought the land in 1882. 

Lucy
calls Mr. Hurlow “a
nervous wreck.”
That same description fits Hysterium, the role Jack Gilford
originated in A
Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.
In the show, Hysterium sings the song “Calm” by Stephen Sondheim
in which he’s anything but!  

Mr. Hurlow loses his cool and runs
off singing “Happy Days Are Here Again,” a
song by Jack
Yellen and
Milton
Ager. The
song was featured in the 1930 film Chasing
Rainbows. The song title was mentioned by Ethel Mertz in “Fan Magazine Interview” (ILL S3;E17). Lucy is worried about Ricky’s fidelity: 

LUCY: “If some woman was trying to take Fred away from you, you’d sing another tune.”
ETHEL: “Yeah, ‘Happy Days Are Here Again’.” 

Note: Viewers watching the episode on Amazon Prime will notice that the song is absent from Jack Gilford’s screen exit. It is likely that the music royalty fee was not deemed worth paying for such a quick moment and it was excised.  

Lucy
Ricardo also wreaked havoc on the roads in “Lucy Learns to Drive”
(ILL S4;E11). Her patient  teacher was her husband, short-tempered
Ricky. Lucy then acted as driving instructor for her gal pal Ethel. 

An ill-fitting turtle neck sweater was featured in “Lucy and Clint Walker” (TLS S4;E24). The sweater was also knit as a birthday present.

Fast Forward!

“Here’s the Story…” In 1974 “The Brady Bunch” also tackled a teenager getting a driver license when Marcia Brady took the test with Herb Vigran as her instructor. Vigran had appeared several times on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show”.  Wisely, Carol Brady (Florence Henderson) was not in the back seat as Lucy was with Craig. Coincidentally, the following year Marcia’s secret crush was Desi Arnaz Jr., who appeared on the show in 1970 as himself. Eve Plumb, who played Marcia’s sister Jan, played Craig Carter’s cousin Patricia Carter, on a 1972 episode of “Here’s Lucy.”  “The Brady Bunch” and “Here’s Lucy” both finished their runs in 1974 and were both filmed at Paramount! 

Deja View! Like
many rear projection shots on TV, the car goes by the same landmarks
a couple of times. It was also noticeable in 

“California, Here We Come!” (ILL S4;E14) and will be again in the Las Vegas strip sequence of “Lucy Meets Wayne Newton” (S2;E22). 

I’m Not a Lawyer, But… Craig incorrectly advises his mother that she doesn’t have to show her license to the police officer (Ray Kellogg) if she isn’t actually driving a car. Police officers have the right to ask for identification such as driver’s licence even when a vehicle is stationary or parked.

“Lucy Helps Craig Get a Driver’s License” rates 3 Paper Hearts out of 5

This
is a good ‘Bachelor Mother’ episode with Lucy playing the helicopter
mother. Unfortunately, it isn’t really lough out loud funny. The
road test scene seems to hold the possibility for Lucy’s trademark
physical comedy, but all we get are a few pointed barbs. Perhaps it
is because the tone of the episodes this season has varied so wildly
– from out-and-out farce to music hall revue – we don’t know what
to expect from “Here’s Lucy.”