COMMAND PERFORMANCE

May 24, 1945

Command Performance was a radio program which aired between 1942 and 1949. It was broadcast on Armed Forces Radio Network (AFRS) and transmitted by shortwave to the troops overseas. It was not broadcast over domestic U.S. radio stations. The show entertained requests from the troops overseas. It was produced in front of a live audience in Hollywood, California.

“The best wartime program in America.” ~ Time Magazine

“SUPPRESSED DESIRES” ~ May 24, 1945

Ken Carpenter (Announcer)
Lucille Ball
Kitty Kallen
Jack Carson
Phil Reagan
Robert Benchley
The Town Criers

Ken Carpenter and Lucille Ball read a request from Sergeant Jim Blaine of APO 129 that asks about ‘suppressed desires’. Lucy asks Ken about his ‘suppressed desires’ and he replies that he hates Harry James. James was a bandleader married to one of Hollywood’s sexiest stars, Betty Grable.

In 1958, James and Grable appeared on an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” titled “Lucy Wins a Racehorse”. They played themselves.

Lucy laughs and Ken reveals he wants to do an ‘honest’ radio commercial. He demonstrates by talking frankly about a fictional breakfast cereal named Squishy Squashies.

Lucy introduces Kitty Kallan, who sings “I’m Beginning To See The Light” by Duke Ellington, Johnny Hodges, and Harry James, with lyrics by Don George. Her recording reached #1 for two weeks in January 1945.

Ken askes Lucy what her ‘suppressed desire’ is and Jack Carson enters to infer that it is him! Carson had appeared with Ball in the films Stage Door (1937), Having Wonderful Time (1938), and Go Chase Yourself (1938). Lucy asks about his reputation as a womanizer. Carson says that his secret desire would be to be Lana Turner – so that he could make love to Jack Carson!

Lucy introduces The Town Criers, who perform “Idaho”, a song by Jesse Stone written in 1942. Originally comprised of the four Polk siblings, Gordon, Elva, Vernon and Lucy Ann, the Town Criers are probably best remembered today for their work with Tommy Dorsey.

Lucy introduces Robert Benchley. Benchley’s secret desire is to play ‘cryptogram’ with Lucy. He finally reveals his hidden desire is to be a mother! He wants to have 18 children.

Lucy introduces Irish tenor Phil Reagan who sings “Irish Lullabye”, written in 1913 by James Royce Shannon. The song became a hit for Bing Crosby who sang it in Going My Way (1944).

Carson implores Lucy to reveal her secret ambition. She says she’d like to be someone like Humphrey Bogart. She’s admired him since seeing him in To Have and Have Not (1944).

Bogart, Bacall, and To Have and Have Not would figure into a 1969 episode of “Here’s Lucy” titled “Lucy and the Bogie Affair.”

LUCY: “If you’re going to be Lana Turner, I can be Humphrey Bogart. I could cut off my hair, put on long pants and a man’s shirt and nobody’d know the difference.” CARSON: “You’d never fool Lauren Bacall…or me, for that matter.”

Lucy reveals she’s written a little play in which she’ll play Bogart, he’ll play Lana Turner, and Benchley will play Lana’s mother.

CARSON: “My Mother??? That’s what I get for not reading Winchell’s column.”

Gossip columnist Walter Winchell was a powerful figure in Hollywood. He was the first to break the story about Lucy and Desi losing a baby in the late 1940s. His name was mentioned in Desi’s song “We’re Having a Baby”. On television, he was the voiceover narrator for Desilu’s hit “The Untouchables,” later lending his iconic intonations to an episode of “Here’s Lucy” that satirized the crime drama.

Lucy reveals the title of the play: “Aunt Becky Got Her Bustle Caught in the Wringer or That’s What Made Her Hangover Square.” The play imagines Lana as a naive 18 year-old about to go on her first date with Humphrey. Mother tells her the story of the birds and the bees – literally. Ken briefly interupts with a commercial for Squishy Squashy. Humphrey arrives.

LUCY (as Bogart, to Benchley as Mother): “Who’s this broken down broad? She needs to shave.”

Mother warns them to be home by ten o’clock.

[Gunfire]

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