FANTASY TV GUIDE

Sequels, Spinoffs, and Reboots We Never Saw – But Wish We Had!

Ads and listings from a Papermoon Loves Lucy fantasy issue of TV Guide!

“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” ~ Before Andy Cohen there was Don Loper – TV’s first gay man with a doting bevy of housewives at his command. At press time, Mrs. Alan Ladd was replaced by Mrs. Ricky Ricardo. In the premiere, Loper stages a benefit for Share and Mrs. Ricardo gets a sunburn. Sponsored by Unguentine. 

“American Picker” ~ In this episode, Dan picks over some old furniture at a run-down brownstone in New York City. Mid-century modern is Jenkins’ specialty and tonight he strikes gold.

“Hot Bench” ~ Today: “The Case of the Damaged Television & Fractured Friendship”. Judge Moroni Olsen and Bailiff Bobby serve justice at 4 ET / 3 CT. 

“Desi’s Desert Island Discs” ~ Premiere!  Desi’s first guest is Ricky Ricardo. Viewers are treated to excerpts from his top ten. Special appearance by Lucy Ricardo singing “Sally Sweet”. 

“Bent Fork R.F.D.” ~ This week the Sheriff (Will Wright) arrests a Pontiac full of Yankees headed for Hollywood. Guest star Ernie Ford tries to pawn off Teensy and Weensy (the Borden Sisters) on the westbound travelers, but they get all tied up. 

“My Big Fat Fabulous Life” ~ Premiere!  In this musical docuseries, Teensy and Weensy are profiled at their mobiel home in Tennessee. It’s a “Ricochet Romance” when the girls become obsessed with the Bent Fork BBQ Buffet – and it goes bankrupt. 

“The Walking Fred” ~ Fred turns into a walker after losing $500 to Al Hergesheimer (Milton Berle), an undead used car salesman from Brooklyn. Sponsored by Pontiac. 

“Hoarding: Buried Alive” ~ In the season premiere: a woman is buried alive by two sides of beef; two urban couples are presumed lost in a collection of cardboard boxes; and old newspapers take over the lives of several desperate homeonwers. 

“Lucy’s Neighborhood” ~ Beppe de Vries stars in this all-new spin-off to “East 68th Street”.  In this episode, Mrs. de Vries sees a wacky neighbor on the ledge and goes to great lengths to get her psychiatric help. Guest star Joseph Kearns as Doctor Toim Robinson. 

“Freddie Filmore’s Drag Race: Females are Fabulous!” ~ Season 15 of the long-running show welcomes Carson Kresley and Michelle Visage in their first appearances since “Rupaul’s Drage Race Season 87″. This year’s guest judges include Phil Spitalny, Countess Blublitzki, and Fredrika. 

“Trailer Park” ~ Lucy and Ethel move into a trailer park outside West Jamestown. There they keep an eye on the comings and goings of the flirty Flamingo Sisters (Gloria and Joan Blondell). Tonight: Mrs. Trumbull’s cat gets sick from an out-of-date can of All Pet.  

“Ugly Betty Loves Wreck-It Ralph” ~ In this all-new teaming of two popular CBS sitcoms, the Ramseys (Mary Jane Croft and Frank Nelson) find a litter of kittens hidden in the chicken coop. Meanwhile, Little Bruce (Ray Ferrell) discovers hundreds of baby chickens in the litter box. 

“Night of the Living Fred” ~ A television adaptation of the popular zombie film. In the new series, a landlord / zombie (Fred Mertz) eats the tenants of his New York City brownstone, until he is unmasked by Sergeant Nelson (Frank Nelson). 

“I Spy: The O’Briens” ~ Hayden Rorke and K.T. Stevens play international spies masquerading as actors playing international spies on a television series about actors playing international spies. Tonight: Tom breaks a lamp and neighbor Lucy (Lucille Ball) impersonates a chair.

“Big Brother: The Twins Twist” ~ This season welcomes Teensy and Weensy, Timmy and Jimmy Hudson, the Harpo Twins, and special guests Patty and Cathy Lane – all competing to be the last houseguests in the brownstone. Julie Chen Moonves McGillicuddy hosts. 

“Jamestown” ~ From the producers of “Downton Abbey,” this dramatic series follows courageous performers who leave their dark pasts behind in England for a new life in 17th-century America. Tallulah Bankhead plays Elizabeth, the Quinn of Jamestown. Friar Quinn is played by William Frawley. Tonight’s episode “The Quinn’s Lament” was written by Quinn and Madelyn Martin. 

“The Taylors in 3D” ~ The first spinoff from Desilu’s impossibly successful “I Love Lucy” starring Gene Reynolds and Mary Ellen Kay as young newlyweds who move into a Manhattan brownstone haunted by hilarious ghosts. Elizabeth Patterson plays Matilda, the new landlady and part-time medium, Reya. 

“The Carmichael Show” ~ In this reboot of “The Lucy Show”, Viv and Sherman have moved out, leaving the Carmichaels to make it on their own. In the pilot episode, Lucy cancels plans to move to Los Angeles and Jerry’s Military School rejects his application. Chris becomes a waitress to pay the tuition. 

Based on the hit series, “Iron Man Carmichael”, this all new TV movie marks the return of fearless stunt performer and housewife Lucy Carmichael as she takes on the Marvel Multiverse. 

In the tradition of “Fosse Verdon” FX brings us “Lucy Desi”. Follow the tumultuous romance and career of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz as they climb the ladder of showbusiness success.  

“Feud: Lucy and Joan” ~ A docudrama television series created by Ryan Murphy in the footsteps of “Bette and Joan”.  Based on the legendary real-life feud between Lucille Ball and Joan Crawford. 8 episodes of nail-biting drama and shouting.