MAD MONEY!

Lucy & Cash: A Crypto-History

One of the great dramatic devices is the pursuit of money. The Lucy character was generally a middle class, working mother who was in pursuit of the American dream. Her entrepreneurial aspirations were only matched by her fiscal irresponsibility!  

Blood Money (1934) ~ The metaphorical title of Lucille Ball’s 4th film.

“Trying to Cash the Prize Check” (1950) ~ Liz (Lucille Ball) goes on a radio quiz show and wins a check for $500, but she only gets to keep it if she can cash it within 25 minutes, and the banks are all closed!

I LOVE LUCY

“The Quiz Show” (1951) ~ With Lucy’s household accounts in arrears, she goes on a radio quiz show to win a $1,000!

Publicity photo showing Phil Ober handing Lucy the cash prize after dealing with a tramp (John Emery). 

Lucy wins the prize, but after some quick accounting by Ricky, Lucy is left with just 25 cents!  

“The Freezer” (1952)

“Job Switching” (1952)

“The Kleptomaniac” (1952)

• LUCY: “It’s my mad money.” 
• RICKY: “There’s two hundred dollars here.” 
• LUCY: “I get awfully mad.”

“The Business Manager” (1954) ~ Lucy figures out how to ‘game the system’ and pay her bills as well!  This is one of the best examples of money management gone wrong on all of television! 

LUCY: “They’re making the bills smaller, aren’t they?”

Lucy can’t think fast enough to answer Ricky’s financial questions about her windfall at the “market”. 

Lucy listens for her “little small voice” – which tells her what to buy at the “market”. 

Lucy breezes out of the room after giving Ricky money for a haircut. 

“The Girls Go Into Business” (1953) ~ Lucy and Ethel buy a dress shop they think is a gold mine!  Lucy figures that based on the fact that she saw two customers buy $200 in merchandise in five minutes, they would make $2,400 an hour, and $19,000 a day!  On the day this episode was filmed, September 11, 1953, hundreds of women took to the streets of New York City to track down bargains as part of 1953 Dollar Days.  It was also the same day Lucille Ball was accused of being a Communist. Earning green paled compared to being called  red! 

• MRS. HANSEN: Oh, you’re the dearest, sweetest girls in all the world and how do you want to handle the down payment?
• LUCY: Uh, well, what did you have in mind?
• MRS. HANSEN (bluntly): Money.

Mabel Paige (Mrs. Hansen) does a brilliant job of portraying a little old lady with the heart of a cash register!  

Oops! Mrs. Hansen can’t need money all that much, since she leaves a bill lying on the floor!  

Lucy and Ethel sell the shop for $3,500. Lucy and Ethel think they’ve made a nifty profit – until they boys tell them the building sold to developers for $50,000!  

“Lucy is Envious” (1954) ~ Lucy and Ethel unwittingly pledge $500 each to a charity and take a job posing as Martians on top of the Empire State Building to earn the money! 

“Bonus Bucks” (1954) ~ Lucy finds the winning dollar bill in the newspaper’s Bonus Buck contest, but lets it slip through her fingers. Now she has only a few hours left to get it back to qualify for the cash prize!  This was another of the best of the money madness episodes. In real life, contests like these were called Lucky Bucks, but since Lucky Strike was the largest competitor of “I Love Lucy’s” sponsor, Philip Morris, the writers were discouraged from using the word ‘lucky.’  

The episode begins with Lucy paying for her grocer delivery, careful not to pay with a buck whose serial number had not been checked. 

Lucy and Ethel check their bills against the newspaper’s published serial numbers to see if they are winners. 

When they find one – they fight over who it belongs to – ripping it in half!  

After going through great expense to get the bill back, they are awarded the prize money. After paying the bills for their efforts, they are left with one dollar – the same amount they started with! Fred gives the lone bill to a starched Lucy.

“The Diner” (1954) ~ After a price war over hamburgers reduces the price to a penny, ‘A Little Bit of Cuba’ gives a drunk a dollar to buy 100 hamburgers from ‘A Big Hunk of America’. 

“Getting Ready” (1954) ~ Talking in his sleep during a nap on the sofa, Ricky is dreaming of Hollywood.

• RICKY: “No. No, Mr. Zanuck. My price is a million dollars, Mr. Zanuck.”

“The Million Dollar Idea” (1954) ~ Lucy wants to sell her own salad dressing – until Ricky points out that she is losing money on every jar!  Although this episode was all about making money, no money was ever made.  

In April 2019, CBS colorized “Million Dollar Idea” and “Bonus Bucks” and aired them under the title Funny Mooney $pecial. 

“Ricky’s European Booking” (1955) ~ Lucy and Ethel run an illegal raffle to pay their fare to Europe. Little do they know the real founder of the charity they made up has come to collect the money!

“Bon Voyage” (1956) ~ After missing the ship to Europe, Lucy arranges a helicopter to catch up. Learning that the chopper can’t land and that she has to be lowered onto the moving ship, she tries to convince the pilot to fly her all the way to Europe! 

“Paris at Last!” (1955) ~ Lucy’s money trouble didn’t stop at the border. She exchanges American money for French Francs. Little does she know the man (Lawrence Dobkin) standing in front of the American Express Office is a forger! 

“Lucy Goes to Monte Carlo” (1956) ~ While traveling through the French Riviera, Lucy promises Ricky she won’t step foot inside a casino, but inadvertently gambles her way into a small fortune. When Ricky finds the cash hidden in Ethel’s lingerie case he thinks Fred is embezzling. The Desilu prop department visited Earl Hays Press in Hollywood to have the French money printed for this episode.  

THE LUCY $HOW

When Mr. Mooney arrives in Danfield to work at the bank, he reads from Mr. Barnsdahl’s 27-page memo about Mrs. Carmichael: 

• “To get money from the bank, she will threaten, wheedle, cajole, cry, implore, jolly, and stage tantrums.”

“Lucy Misplaces $2,000″ (1962) ~ The bank gives Lucy $2,000 instead of $20. Lucy gazes lovingly at the four $500 bills and remarks that President McKinley has a lovely smile. When it comes time to return the cash, it goes missing. Lucy and Viv track down the money to a local carnival. 

“Lucy, the Bird Sitter” (1964) ~ Mr. Mooney’s cockatiel is named Greenback for its coloration. “Greenback” is also a slang word for US paper currency due to its dark green color; an ideal name for a banker’s bird!  

“Lucy the Coin Collector” (1964) ~ When Jerry finds a rare penny worth $16.50, Lucy and Viv decide to search through thousands of pennies to find a rare one.

At the bank, Lucy asks Mr. Mooney for change for a ten dollar bill – in all pennies! 

Searching for the rare coins, Viv volunteers to sing a couple of choruses from “Pennies from Heaven” or “Three Coins in the Fountain.” Both songs also were the titles of popular films. 

“Lucy, the Meter Maid” (1964) ~ Viv volunteers to pay her parking fine rather than face a ticket, but Lucy thinks of it as a bribe. 

“Lucy and the Great Bank Robbery” (1964) ~ When Lucy rents out Viv’s room to two gentlemen visiting the World’s Fair, they turn out to be bank robbers who stash their loot in Viv’s mattress.  

“Lucy, the Bean Queen” (1966) ~ Mr. Mooney partners with an enterprising southern colonel to market canned baked beans.

Their sales are plunging thanks to Lucy capitalizing on their “Double Your Money Back” guarantee.

HERE’$ LUCY 

“Lucy Makes a Few Extra Dollars” (1971) ~ Literally! 

“Lucy Loses Her Cool” (1970) ~ Lucy goes on the Art Linkletter Show and is challenged not to lose her temper for 24 hours in order to win $500.

“Dirty Gertie” (1972) ~ Selling apples proved lucrative business.

“Lucy Takes Over” (1970) ~ Lucy finds her great grandmother’s diary with an IOU from one of Harry’s relatives tucked inside. Lucy estimates he owes her thousands of dollars and soon she’s taken over his business!

“Lucy the Process Server” (1968) ~ Harry asks Lucy to deliver a summons and make a bank deposit.  Lucy gets the two mixed-up and loses the envelope of $1,500 cash! 

“Lucy and the Raffle” (1971) ~ When Lucy and Kim stack up the money they’ve made from their raffle, Lucy says “Oh, ho ho!  You jolly green giant!”  

CA$H REGI$TER$

“Ricky and Fred art TV Fans” (1953) ~ To get a dime to call home, Lucy dips her hand into a corner diner’s cash register – in front of a policeman!

“The Diner” (1954) ~ After the diner is divided in two, the cash register is left straddling the border between “Cuba” and “America”.  

“Lucy Competes with Carol Burnett” (1970) ~ Frequent extra Vanda Barra has no lines, but a very funny bit of business with a cafeteria cash register.  

“Lucy Visits Jack Benny” (1968) ~ At Jack Benny’s home in Palm Springs, he makes change for Lucy on his toy cash register. 

“Lucy and the Franchise Fiasco” (1973) ~ The same cash register was used at both the luncheonette and the custard stand (with a penguin sticker slapped on the side). 

$TICKER $HOCK!

“Lucy is Matchmaker” (1953) ~ Wholesale nightgowns!

“Sentimental Anniversary” (1954) ~ The Mertzes give the Ricardos a silver cigarette lighter. Fred is shocked to see the price tag $32.50. Ethel proudly admits the real price was $4.95.

“The Fashion Show” (1955)

• LUCY: “Doesn’t Loper know any other numbers but 5-0-0?!”

Shopping for the best prices on furniture in “Lucy Bags a Bargain” (1966) and “Lucy Gets Chummy with the Neighbors” (1957). 

Mistaking price tags for stock numbers, Lucy has sticker shock realizing how much she spent on new furniture for the Connecticut house.

“Guess Who Owes Lucy $23.50?” (1968) ~ It’s Van Johnson!  Or is it? 

THE CA$HWORD IS…

Lucille Ball’s favorite gameshow “Password” added a new feature for their “Super Password” (1986) reboot called Cashword.