LIZ’S RADIO SCRIPT

March 26, 1950

“Liz’s Radio Script” (aka “Liz Writes a Radio Play”) is episode #81 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 26, 1950.

Synopsis ~ Liz’s entry is a finalist in a playwriting contest, and the Coopers and the Atterburys perform it on the local radio station.

Note: Portions of this script inspired the “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Writes a Play” (ILL S1;E17) filmed on September 15, 1952 and first aired on February 4, 1953.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper aka Liz Shakespeare) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper / “John”) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury / “The Whistler”) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury / “Madge”) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

 For “Madge,” Bea Benadaret uses the same plain-talking ‘old lady’ voice she used to play Miss Lewis on “I Love Lucy.” 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) does not appear in this episode. 

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Mary Jane Croft (Margaret Baldwin, a Poet)  played Betty Ramsey during season six of “I Love Lucy. ” She also played Cynthia Harcourt in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;E23) and Evelyn Bigsby in “Return Home from Europe” (ILL S5;E26). She played Audrey Simmons on “The Lucy Show” but when Lucy Carmichael moved to California, she played Mary Jane Lewis, the actor’s married name and the same one she uses on all 31 of her episodes of “Here’s Lucy. Her final acting credit was playing Midge Bowser on “Lucy Calls the President” (1977). She died in 1999 at the age of 83.

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight,  George is just coming home for dinner after a long day’s work.”

George is exhausted, but Liz reminds him they are going to dinner at the Atterbury’s to meet a writer named Margaret Baldwin. George recognizes the name as a girl she went to college with.  George describes Maggie a gorgeous blonde. Suddenly he wants to go to the Atterbury’s but Liz doesn’t. George even changes into a clean shirt for the occasion.

On the doorstep of the Atterbury’s, George makes Liz promise not to make any smart-alec remarks to Miss Baldwin. Liz adopts a child-like voice of concession, calling the guest of honor “Miss Blank Verse.” 

MR. ATTERBURY (to George): “She’s quite a girl, boy!” 
LIZ: “A girl-boy?”
MR. ATTERBURY (to George): “Wait’ll you get a load of her iambic pentameter!”
LIZ: “Feh. I’ll bet it’s dyed.”

Maggie comes in an gushes about George in florid words.  

LIZ: “Well! If it isn’t Edgar Guest.” 

Edgar Guest (1881-1959) was a British-born American poet who became known as the People’s Poet. His poems often had an inspirational and optimistic view of everyday life. In 1950 Favorite Verses of Edgar Guest, a collection of 100 of his poems, was published 

Mr. Atterbury pretends to remember the title of Maggie’s latest book. She tells him it was called “Poems”. 

LIZ: “If you ever write a sequel to it, I’ve got a smash title for you. You can call it… “More Poems.” 

Iris asks Maggie if it is true that she is judging an amateur playwriting contest at the radio station. 

MAGGIE: “I’m also giving a lecture at town hall about how to get the most out of Kipling.”
LIZ: “I knew she kippled the moment I saw her.” 

Joseph Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) was an English journalist, short-story writer, poet, and novelist. He was born in India, which inspired much of his work. Kipling’s works of fiction include The Jungle Book (1894), Kim (1901), and many short stories. His poems include “Mandalay” (1890) and “Gunga Din” (1890). He is considered an innovator in the art of the short story. His children’s books are classics.

Maggie says she’s been to Europe five times. 

MAGGIE: “Something keeps pulling me back to Paris.”
LIZ: “What’d you do? Get your girdle caught on the Eiffel Tower?”

Maggie adds that she’s continued her education, and is now Margaret Baldwin, PhD. 

GEORGE: “Do you know what that means, Liz?”
LIZ: “Yeah. Margaret Baldwin, fud!” 

George corrects her and tells Liz that Margaret is now a doctor. Liz pretends to have a sore throat. Iris ushers everyone in to dinner.

Back at home, George chastises Liz for being jealous. 

GEORGE: “I don’t want to be married to a brilliant, intellectual woman. I want to be married to you.”

Liz wells up with tears. She reminds George that she gave up her career as a writer to marry him.

LIZ: “You may not know it but you’re looking at the president of the Shortridge High School Scrawl and Quill Club. I won the senior class essay contest. I was on my way to becoming a shining literary light.”
GEORGE: “What happened?”
LIZ: “I married you and cut off my current.”

Shortridge High School (Indianapolis, Indiana) was the alma mater of “My Favorite Husband” writer Madelyn Pugh. It was there that she became interested in writing, along with classmate Kurt Vonnegut. Her yearbook was used as a prop in “Lucy Becomes a Reporter” (TLS S1;E17) in 1963. Vivian was said to have been a Shortridge graduate. 

Liz finds her prize-winning essay and reads some of it to George, who is unimpressed and laughs.

LIZ: “Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Robert Fulton, too, you know!”
GEORGE: “Robert Fulton? What did he write?”
LIZ: “You think I don’t know? ‘Showboat’”!

Robert Fulton (1765-1815) was an American engineer and inventor who is widely credited with developing the first commercially successful steamboat. Liz is confusing it with Show Boat, a 1926 novel by Edna Ferber. It chronicles the lives of three generations of performers on the Cotton Blossom, a riverboat on the Mississippi River from the 1880s to the 1920s. The novel was made into a ground-breaking musical in 1929, which included the song “Old Man River”. Several film adaptations of the musical were made. 

Liz vows that she will show George what a good writer she is by entering – and winning – the playwriting contest that Maggie is going to judge!

LIZ: “You’re looking at Liz Cooper – radio’s answer to television!” 

End of Part One

ANNOUNCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz anxiously waiting for a phone call which will tell her  whether she’s won the radio script-writing contest or not.”

The call comes and Liz Shakespeare (her pen name) is told she is one of three finalists (out of three submissions). She tells George that she has to furnish her own cast and perform it tomorrow night on the radio.  

The Atterbury’s come over right away to begin rehearsals. Iris says that Mr. Atterbury ran to find his tights when he found out. Mr. Atterbury quotes dramatically from ‘Hamlet’.  

Liz’s script is a mystery soap opera titled “John’s Other Whistler”. 

Liz’s title conflates two popular radio shows, “The Whistler” and “John’s Other Wife.”  

“The Whistler” was a radio mystery drama which ran from 1942 until 1955, on the west-coast regional CBS radio network. A character known only as the Whistler was the host and narrator of the tales, which focused on crime and fate. He often commented directly upon the action in the manner of a Greek chorus. Not coincidentally, Gale Gordon was one of several actors to play the Whistler. Cast members included Hans Conried, Joseph Kearns, Elliott Lewis, Gerald Mohr, Lurene Tuttle and Jack Webb.

“John’s Other Wife” was a radio soap opera broadcast on NBC from 1936 to 1942. It centered around a store executive, his wife, and a woman who worked for him. The man in the title was John Perry, who owned Perry’s Department Store. His insecure wife, Elizabeth, suspected John of being romantically involved with either Annette Rogers, his secretary, or Martha Curtis, his assistant. In the “My Favorite Husband” episode “The Quiz Show” (October 23, 1948), the show was also mashed with another radio title “Portia Faces Life” to become “Portia Faces John’s Other Wife”. 

Mr. Atterbury plays the Whistler (who doesn’t have to whistle). George plays John, an elderly gentleman of 75 who gets killed at the end of the first act. Iris plays Madge, the Whistler’s 73 year-old wife. Liz is the writer, director, sound effects, man, incidental voices, and the music. 

GEORGE: “Pardon me, Orson.” 

George is referring to Orson Welles (1915-85), an actor, director, screenwriter, and producer (often all on the same project) who is remembered for his innovative work in radio, theatre and film. When Welles arrived in Hollywood in 1939, Ball was sent by the studio to escort him to a premiere to squelch rumors of his homosexuality. They became friends and Ball later let Welles live in her bungalow, as well as gave him an acting gig on “I Love Lucy” in 1956. 

The next evening they arrive at the radio studio. Mr. Atterbury has his tights on under his pants – just in cast he has to do “Hamlet”. Maggie arrives to meet Mrs. Shakespeare, not knowing that it is Liz.  Liz asks Maggie for the scripts, but Maggie says that the entrants were supposed to bring their own scripts!  They have no choice but to duck into one of the radio station offices and re-type the entire script from memory. 

On the air, Maggie has moved Liz’s play from first, to last. 

GEORGE / ‘ANNOUNCER’: “This is the story of John and Madge, two people who live together, and loathe it.” 

This is a paraphrase of the “My Favorite Husband” tag line: “Two people who live together, and like it!” spoken at the start of every program. 

The writers liked the name Madge so much that in

“The Misunderstanding of the Black Eye,” the February 10, 1951

“My Favorite Husband,” and “I Love Lucy’s” “The Black Eye” (ILL S2;E20), Madge is the name of the wife in the suspense novel read by Lucy and Ricky.  In those scripts Madge says “You don’t like me, do you?” and here – in “John’s Other Whistler” Madge says “I don’t like you.”  

Liz has re-typed the script so quickly that it results in some hilarious on air mistakes: 

GEORGE / ‘JOHN’ (to ‘Madge’): “You’ve got a face like a camel.”
LIZ: “That’s ‘cameo’!” 

IRIS / ‘MADGE’: “I don’t care. I’ve got another liver.” 
LIZ: “That’s ‘lover’!”
IRIS (aside): “At my age, I’d get more use out  of another liver!” 

GEORGE / ‘JOHN’ (to ‘Madge’): “And your nose is continued on the next page!” 

Similar dialogue from “Lucy Writes a Play” (ILL S1;E17):

ETHEL: [reading from Lucy’s script] “You look very pretty, Lucita. Your hair is shining, your eyes are bright, and your nose is continued on the next page.”

ETHEL: [reading from Lucy’s script] “I think you go there to meet your liver.”
LUCY: [correcting her] “Lover!”

The Whistler says that Madge is going to kill John. When ‘Madge’ is supposed to hear the doorbell, Liz does every sound except the doorbell – breaking glass, drum beat, auto horn. 

On a February 1965 episode of TV’s “Art Linkletter’s House Party,” guest Lucille Ball plays an inept radio sound effects operator in a sketch called “Sam Spade, Private Eye.” 

When Mr. Atterbury runs out of pages of script, he starts reciting from Hamlet!  Maggie impatiently stops the play before it’s finished and decides to announce the judge’s decision. Liz wins for her comedy!

GEORGE: “How’d you learn to write comedy?”
LIZ: “Oh, you just write it serious, then type it in a hurry!” 

In the live Jell-O commercial, Bob LeMond plays a psychiatrist and Lucille Ball (using the throaty low-pitched voice) plays his subject. 

LUCILLE: “Hello!”
BOB: “That’s Jell-O!”
LUCILLE: “I wondered why hello came in six delicious flavors.” 

The psychiatrist hypnotizes her to be a seductive French girl. The only effect is that she says “ooh-la-la” every other word.