LUCY & BILKO

“Bilko’s Ape Man” (S4;E24 ~ March 18, 1959)

Created
by Nat Hiken (creator of “Car 54 Where Are You?”)

Produced
by Edward J. Montagne

Directed by Al
De Caprio,
Aaron
Ruben

Written by Arnie
Rosen,
Coleman
Jacoby

Synopsis ~ A
fitness instructor is placed in Bilko’s platoon. To get rid of him
and to make some money, Bilko tries to get him cast in a Tarzan
movie. To do this, Bilko tries to fix it so his man wins the Mr.
Universe contest. First step: he hires a woman (Lucille Ball) to
scream when his man goes on stage. When this fails, he dresses
Doberman up in a gorilla suit to fight his ‘Tarzan’. Colonel Hall
sees the ‘gorilla’ and soon has the whole camp hunting for him.

CAST

Phil
Silvers
(Master Sergeant Ernie Bilko) was
born Philip Silversmith in 1911 (the same year as Lucille Ball). He
started entertaining at age 11. He made his Broadway debut in 1939.
In 1952 he won a Tony Award in the Broadway musical Top
Banana in
which he played a TV star modeled on Milton Berle. His feature film
debut came in 1940. Silvers became a household name in 1955 when he
starred as Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko. In 1963, Ball and Silvers performed the classic ‘Slowly I Turn’ sketch for “CBS Opening Night.” In December 1966, Silvers guest-starred in “Lucy and the Efficiency Expert” (TLS S5;E13).
A year later Ball and Silvers both had bit parts in the film
A
Guide for the Married Man (1967).
He died at the age of 74.

Lucille
Ball
(Fainting Fan, uncredited) filmed this un-named, uncredited cameo in early 1959, just a few months before she left both her husband and Lucy Ricardo
behind for good. Two months earlier, Ball had played
Lucy Ricardo on “Make Room for Daddy” in return for their cast appearing on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” but this appearance on
“The Phil Silvers Show” is the first time Lucille Ball has ever
appeared on another situation comedy as non-Lucy character.

Harvey
Lembeck
(Corporal Rocco Barbella) is probably best remembered as Edward Von
Zipper in the beach party films. He was also seen in the movie
musicals Kiss
Me Kate
(1958) and The
Unsinkable Molly Brown (1964).

Paul
Ford
(Colonel John T. Hall) was nominated for three Emmy Awards for
playing Colonel Hall in 1957, 1958, and 1959. Both Ford and Silvers
appeared in the 1963 film It’s
A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Hope
Sansberry
(Mrs. Nell Hall) appeared uncredited in the Lucy Ball / Bob Hope film
Fancy
Pants (1950),
which was her screen debut. She played Mrs. Hall for 38 episodes.

Maurice
Gosfield (Private
Duane Doberman) was nominated for an Emmy Award for playing Colonel
Hall, in 1959. Both Gosfield and Silvers appeared in the 1960 TV
movie Summer
in New York.

Allan
Melville
(Corporal Steve Henshaw) is probably best remembered as Sam the
Butcher on “The Brady Bunch” (1969-74) and Barney Hefner on “All
in the Family” (1971-79) and “Archie Bunker’s Place” (1979-83).

Bernie
Fein
(Private Gomez) was also the creator of “Hogan’s Heroes”
(1965-71). 

Maurice
Brenner
(Private Irving Fleischman) played Officer Julie and several other
character roles on “Car 54 Where Are You?”

Terry
Carter (Private
Sugie Sugarman) made his screen debut with this role.

Herbie
Faye
(Corporal Sam Fender) made four appearances on “Here’s Lucy,” and
one on “The Lucy Show.” He was also seen with Silvers in the 1951
Broadway musical Top
Banana.

Mickey
Freeman
(Private Fielding Zimmerman) later wrote
a book about “The Phil Silvers Show” titled Bilko:
Behind the Lines with Phil Silvers.
The
book includes anecdotes and an episode guide. When he died in 2010 he
was the last surviving principal cast member from the show.

Jack
Healey
(Private Mullen) went on to appear as Officer Rodriguez on “Car 54
Where Are You?” from 1961 to 1963.

Bilko
calls Mullen “The Fidel Castro of the Slobs.” 

Billy
Sands
(Private Dino Papparelli) made three appearances on “Here’s Lucy”
and did a television commercial with Lucille Ball in the 1970s. He
went on to play ‘Tinker’ Bell on “McHale’s Navy” for 138
episodes from 1962 to 1968. That’s one less than his number of
appearances on “The Phil Silvers Show.”

Kenneth
Vaughn
(Private Forbes) is the platoon’s “new recruit” – the physical
fitness instructor that Bilko needs to get rid of.

Joe
E. Ross (Master
Sergeant Rupert Ritzik) went on to create the role of Gunther Tooty
on “Car 54 Where Are You? (1961-63). He also played the role of
Ritzik with Maurice Gosfield as Doberman on “The Ed Sullivan Show”
(December 28, 1958).  

Beatrice
Pons (Mrs.
Emma Ritzik) played Joe E. Ross’s wife Emma for 13 episodes and then
went on to play his wife again on “Car 54 Where Are You?” She
made 32 appearances as Lucille Toody from 1961 to 1963.  

Edith
King
(Ursula Thorndike) played five different characters on the series,
including Martha Washington. This is her final role.

Thorndike
is the editor of Body Health Magazine and also a judge in the Mr.
Universe contest. 

John
Alexander
(General Alexander) is probably best remembered as ‘Teddy Roosevelt’
Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace (1944). This is one of three
Generals he played on the series, all with different surnames. He
also played three different characters on “Car 54 Where Are You?”

Fred
Herrick (The
Hunter) plays the last of his four character roles on the series.

Nick
Saunders (Captain
Barker) played the role for 28 episodes between 1956 and 1959. In
1962, he made two appearances on “Car 54 Where Are You?”

Barbara
Barry (WAC
Corporal Edna, uncredited) made 36 appearances as Edna, her only
screen role.

Uncredited
performers play the bodybuilders and the magazine photographer.

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“The
Phil Silvers Show,”
originally titled “You’ll Never Get Rich,” and variously called
“Sergeant Bilko” (or merely “Bilko”), is a sitcom
which ran on CBS
from 1955 to 1959.  A pilot called “Audition Show” was made
in 1955, but never broadcast. 143 other episodes were broadcast – all
30 minutes long except for a 1959 one-hour live special.
The
series starred Phil
Silvers
as Master
Sergeant
Ernest G. Bilko of the United
States Army.
It ran concurrently with “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy-Desi
Comedy Hour,” airing its final episode just two months after the
Ricardos and Mertzes left the air for good.  

Character
actors who appeared on the series included: Ned Glass, Dody Goodman, **Jane Kean, ***Al Lewis, Charlotte Rae, Fred Gwynn, +Dick Van Dyke, Morey
Amsterdam, Margaret Hamilton, +Paul Lynde, Larry Storch, Peggy Cass, +Dina Merrill, Irwin Corey, *Natalie Schafer, Tina Louise, Alan Alda,
Orson Bean, Lee Meriwether, Julie Newmar, +Bea Arthur, Barnard Hughes, and Sammy Cahn.

Celebrities
who appeared as themselves include: Bing Crosby, +Gary Crosby, Dale
Evans, +Ed
Sullivan, **Mickey Rooney, Diana Dors, Kay Kendall, Jule Styne, Sam
Snead, Dorothy McGuire, Mike Todd, and Yogi Berra.

Like
Lucille Ball, other uncredited celebrities included: George Kennedy, *Jack Albertson, Pat Hingle, *Janet Waldo, Mason Adams, Vincent
Gardenia, Graham Jarvis, Robert Morse, Christopher Lloyd, **Dean
Martin, and +Dick Cavett.

* appeared on “I Love Lucy”
** appeared on “The Lucy Show”
*** appeared on “Here’s Lucy”
+ appeared with Lucille Ball on other TV projects

Lucille Ball speaks just eight words (besides screams) and her screen appearance lasts just a minute and a half. It is unknown if this appearance was reciprocal or a favor for Silvers. He didn’t appear on “The Lucy Show” for another seven years!  

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The
movie magazine in which Papperelli (Billy Sands, left) reads about a movie studio looking
for a new Tarzan has the name ELVIS in large letters on the facing
page. At the time of filming, Elvis Presley was also in the
Army. On the air date (March 18, 1959), Elvis
was thrown to the side of the road and injured his knee while taking
a tight curve in a Jeep. The injury, however, was kept secret from the
press.

Bilko
is determined to get perfect specimen Private Forbes out of his unit and cast
as the new Tarzan.

Henshaw:
“Yeah, but Ernie, how do you know he can act?
Bilko:
“What
act? You don’t have to act. All you have to learn how to do is stab
animals and say two lines: ‘Me Tarzan. You Jane.’”
Henshaw:
“What’s
in it for you?”
Bilko:
“Me
rich!”

The auditions are being held at the Santa Monica Auditorium, which, in reality had just opened in 1958.

Forbes
can’t attend the screen test because he is enrolled in the Mr.
Universe Contest at Santa Monica Beach. The
Mr. Universe Championships
are
annual worldwide bodybuilding
events
organized by the National
Amateur Body-Builders’ Association
(NABBA).
In 1959 the winners were Len Sell (amateur) and Bruce Randall
(professional). 

Santa
Monica’s ‘Muscle Beach’ derived
its name from the growing reputation of gymnastics and strength
athletes who congregated there due to the 1940 opening of the first
nationwide chain of gyms by Vic Tanny. By
the 1950s, Muscle Beach established worldwide fame and helped to
popularize the health and fitness movement.

To
make Forbes a loin cloth, he cons Mrs. Ritzik out of her old leopard
print coat. Forbes objects
to Bilko styling his hair and doing his make-up.

Bilko:
“Look,
I happen to know Perc Westmore worked two hours a day on Buster
Crabbe, so let me help you with these things.”

Olympic
swimmer Buster
Crabbe
played Tarzan in 1933’s 12-chapter serial Tarzan
the Fearless.
Perc
Westmore
was one the famous Westmore family of make-up artists, although there
is no record of him working with Crabbe. This is probably a Bilko
embellishment. Perc Westmore did Lucille Ball’s make-up for The
Big Street
in 1943. Lucy and four of the Westmores appeared in “Hedda
Hopper’s Hollywood”
in January
1960.

To
help convince the contest judges that Forbes should be the winner,
Bilko has arranged to pay a woman $5 to scream and faint when he
steps onto the runway. This un-named woman is played by television’s
number one star, Lucille Ball. Ball, wearing a fur-lined jacket and
pearls, walks into the shot with her back to the camera. When she
turns, the studio audience (or laugh track) “oohs and ahhs” at
the sight of her. Lucy’s first attempt is more of a shriek, than a
swoon.

Bilko:
“I
said Forbes, not Frankenstein!”

Her
second attempt sounds like an ambulance siren.

Bilko:
“You’re going to be on television. You ever been on television
before?”

Lucy’s
eyes grow wide and she shakes her head no!  When Bilko describes how
well-built Forbes is, Lucy faints – for real – and is carried off by
Henshaw.  

Bilko: “This is a real nut. Get her out of here!”

Corporal
Barbella suggests that Forbes pick a fight with Gordon
Scott,
the current Tarzan, just for the publicity. Scott played Tarzan in
six films, more than anyone except for Johnny
Weissmuller,
who played the role twelve times.
Bilko likes the idea, but wants to add in an ape for Forbes to fight.
The ape is played by Private Doberman in a gorilla suit. 

When he is
spotted by the General on a field reconnaissance, an all-points
bulletin is issued to kill him on sight!  

The
episode ends with Mrs. Ritzco chewing out Bilko for conning her out
of her leopard print coat! To shut her up, Bilko signs a requisition
for the Army to buy her a brand new coat.

THE SILVERS BALL MUSEUM

In 1956, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers teamed for the very first time on the small screen to celebrate the 8th Anniversary of “The Ed Sullivan Show”, although Ball is not mentioned in the above TV Guide ad. The pair returned for the show’s 14th Anniversary in 1962.

1956 “Who’s Who in Television and Radio”.  Silvers and Ball are joined on the cover by Perry Como, Ed Sullivan, Elvis Presley, and Janet Blair.

“The Television Pictorial History” was published by Chilton Company in 1959, the same year as “Bilko and the Ape Man” aired. This copy was autographed by Phil Silvers. The photograph is a publicity image.

In early 1961, TV icons Phil Silvers and Lucille Ball were major stars on Broadway, both in new musicals.

In 1963, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers joined stars like Danny Thomas, Arthur Godfrey, and Ed Sullivan to introduce the new season of programs on CBS.  

Lucy and Phil teamed to recreate the famous “Slowly I Turned” vaudeville routine she first did on “I Love Lucy.”

In 1965, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers appeared in the special “A Salute To Stan Laurel”.

In 1966′s “Lucy and the Efficiency Expert” (TLS S5;E13), Silvers plays Oliver Kasten, an efficiency expert Mr. Mooney hires to organize the bank. Seven years after Lucille Ball appearing on his show, Silvers finally appears on hers!

Lucy and Phil Silvers shared the small screen for the final time in the kickoff Sunday of “CBS On The Air” – Night of 100 Stars on March 26, 1978. Lucy represented Mondays and Silvers represented Tuesdays.

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