Unaired
Episode {originally
scheduled for broadcast December 20, 1986}
Directed
by Bruce Bilson ~ Written
by Bob Carroll Jr. and Madelyn Davis ~ Story by Mel Sherer and Steve
Granat
Synopsis
Becky
signs up Lucy for her school’s Grandma Talent Contest.
Unfortunately, Lucy doesn’t sing, dance, tell jokes, or do magic, so
she decides to do a dramatic recitation so as not to disappoint her
grandchildren.
Regular
Cast
Lucille
Ball (Lucy
Barker), Gale
Gordon (Curtis
McGibbon), Ann
Dusenberry
(Margo Barker McGibbon), Larry
Anderson
(Ted McGibbon), Jenny
Lewis
(Becky McGibbon), Philip
Amelio
(Kevin McGibbon), Donovan
Scott
(Leonard Stoner)
[For
biographies of the Regular Cast, see “One Good Grandparent Deserves
Another” (S1;E1)]
Guest
Cast
Kellie
Martin (Patty
Durell) also played Patty in “Lucy Gets Her Wires Crossed”
(S1;E4). She played Becca Thatcher on “Life Goes On”
(1989-93) and Lucy Knight on “ER” (1998-2000).
Michael
Zorek
(Pizza Delivery Man) began screen acting in 1983. He is now a father
of two living in New York City.
Phyllis
Applegate
(Principal) began her screen acting career in 1978. Most recently
she was seen as Myrtle, one of the senior citizens on “Better Call
Saul.”
Peggy
Gilbert and the Dixie Belles (Themselves,
uncredited) was a female bandleader who fronted a number of all girl
groups, until founding the Dixie Belles in the 1970s. The
Dixie Belles also appeared on several television shows: “The
Tonight Show” (1981),
“Madame’s Place” (1982), “The
Golden Girls” (1988), “America’s
Funniest Home Videos” (1991),
and “You
Bet Your Life” (1993).
In
1986, the Dixie Belles recorded their only album. The band consisted of Gilbert on saxophone, Natalie
Robin
on clarinet, Marnie
Wells
on trumpet, Jerrie
Thill
on drums, Georgia
Shilling
on piano, and Pearl
Powers
on bass.
The grandma bagpiper and attendees of the talent contest are played by uncredited background performers.
This
was the 13th and final episode filmed. It was scheduled to air on December 20,
1986 but the series was canceled on November 15th. The first draft of the script was
finalized on October 20, 1986.
Story writers Mel Sherer and Steve Granat started their careers on “Happy Days” and its sequels “Laverne and Shirley” and “Joanie Loves Chachi.” This is their only contribution to “Life with Lucy.”
On
the day of the filming, producer Aaron Spelling received word that the show
was canceled. Rather than tell Lucille Ball himself, he has an
assistant telephone her husband Gary Morton with the news, which was
withheld from Lucy until after the filming.
A
fourteenth episode was planned and a first draft of the script
exists, but it was never filmed. It was titled “’Twas the Flight
Before Christmas” written by Vic Rauseo and Linda Morris and
scheduled to be directed by Bruce Bilson. A summary reads: “The
family goes to a friend’s cabin in Colorado, but become stranded on
the plane in Denver and discover that Christmas is more than
presents.” It
was likely scheduled to air on December 27, 1986.
Kevin
plays on the YMCA soccer team “The Wildcats.” The name of the team is probably a reference to Lucille Ball’s only Broadway show, Wildcat (1961).
Everyone
in the Barker house has a trophy for something – except Lucy: Kevin for
soccer, Becky for swimming, Margo for tennis, Ted for softball,
Leonard for wrestling, and Curtis for golf.
Ted:
(to Lucy) “You
know what they say, Mom. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how
you play the game.”
Kevin:
“And
how many trophies you have!”
It
took 13 episode, but actor Larry Anderson (Ted McGibbon), who is a
professional magician, finally works a magic trick into the story,
producing coins for Becky and Kevin’s allowance from behind their
ears.
Becky
enters Lucy in a Grandma Talent Contest at her school. The money
will go toward buying the school a new VCR.
Curtis:
“A
new video cassette recorder! My! They didn’t have things like that
when I was in school.”
Lucy:
“No,
they sat in front of the fire and made shadow puppets on the wall of
the cave.”
Lucy
contemplates singing at the talent competition. She says that in
high school she did an act with two other girls imitating The Andrews
Sisters. This affords Lucille Ball to revive the old gag that Lucy
cannot hold a tune, first started on “I Love Lucy.” She chants a
monotone version of “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree.” ”Don’t
Sit Under the Apple Tree (With Anyone Else but Me)“
by Sam H. Stept, Lew Brown, and Charles Tobias. The song was sung by
the Andrews Sisters in the 1942 film Private
Buckaroo.
She
then thinks about dancing, claiming she took a tap class once. While
Ted sings “Swanee River” Lucy does a few clumsy shuffle steps
before her ‘trick knee’ gives out. In reality, Lucille Ball broke
her leg in a skiing accident that curtailed a lot of dancing during
“Here’s Lucy.” “Old
Folks at Home” (aka
“Swanee River”) a minstrel song written by Stephen Foster in
1851.
With
dancing out of the question, Lucy suggests being a stand-up comic.
When everyone anticipates her punchline, Curtis says “Face
it Lucille, you are not Joan Rivers.” Joan
Rivers
guest-starred when “Lucy and Joan Rivers Do Jury Duty” (HL S6;E9)
in 1973.
Ted
volunteers to teach Lucy some magic so she can be a magician at the
Talent Show. Lucy, billing herself as “Grandma the Great”, puts
on a magic show in the living room for the family. Ted acts as her
assistant.
Lucy:
“I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I can’t tell jokes, I can’t do magic.
I’m a well-rounded flop!”
Curiously,
the one talent Lucy Barker has already demonstrated on the series –
playing the saxophone – is never brought up!
Curtis
reminds Lucy of when they watched Rex Harrison in My
Fair Lady
on television and that he didn’t sing a note. Harrison was famous
for talk/singing his way through both the stage and 1964 film
adaptation of My
Fair Lady,
winning both a 1957 Tony Award and a 1964 Oscar for the role of
Professor Henry Higgins.
The
Grandma Talent Contest scene fades up with a grandma bagpipe player
taking her bow. Curtis later says that the 90 year-old piper was the
winner, playing “Do You Think I’m Sexy.” The Principal (Phyllis
Applegate) introduces the next act, Peggy Gilbert and her Dixie
Belles, billed as world’s only all-female Dixieland band. Peggy is
the grandmother of Becky’s friend Patty Durell. The septuagenarian
sextet plays “When
The Saints Go Marching In.”
In
a spotlight, Lucy dedicates her performance to her children and
grandchildren and talk / sings “Sunrise,
Sunset,”
a song from the 1964 Broadway musical and 1971 film Fiddler
on the Roof.
Lucille Ball’s voice nearly breaks, knowing that she’s reached the
end of an era. Those watching the contest look moved by Lucille
Ball’s amazing serious and dramatic performance.
Kevin:
“You’re
a winner in my book, Grandma.”
Lucy
Barker taking part in talent competition hearkens back to when Lucy Ricardo
participated in a talent show with the unruly Hudson Twins in “The
Amateur Hour” (ILL S1;E14) in 1952.
Lucy
Barker says that she did an act with two girls imitating the Andrews
Sisters. Lucy Carter also did an act with two girls (her daughter Kim
and the real Patty Andrews) imitating the Andrews Sisters in a 1969
episode of “Here’s Lucy.”
Lucille Ball performed all
kinds of dance on screen, including tap, but her most famous dancing
on television is probably the training Lucy Ricardo received in “The
Ballet” (ILL S1;E19) at the barre with Madame Lamond (Mary Wickes)
in 1952.
“Swanee
River” was
first sung by Lucille Ball as a counterpoint to “Humeresques” in
“Bullfight Dance” (ILL S4;E22).
It was also heard in “Little
Ricky Gets Stage Fright” (ILL S6;E4) when one of Little Ricky’s
classmates plays it on violin at a recital.
In
this episode, the story incorporates the talents of real-life female
musicians The Dixie Belles who play “When
the Saints Go Marching In.” The song was
previously performed on “Here’s Lucy” by the Remnants, a
real-life musical group of Catholic nuns in “Lucy and Her All-Nun
Band” (HL S4;E8).
Gale
Gordon and Dan Dailey talk/sang the Rex Harrison song “I’ve Grown
Accustomed to Her Face” from My
Fair Lady
in a 1971 episode of “Here’s Lucy.”
This
Day in Lucy History {had
this episode aired as planned on December 20th}
“Lucy
Misses the Mertzes”
(ILL S6;E17) – film date December 20, 1956
"Lucy’s
Lucky Day”
(HL S4;E14) – air date December 20, 1971
Papermoon Loves Lucy 
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