LUCY’S PUNCTURED ROMANCE

S4;E22 ~ February 7, 1972

Directed by Coby Ruskin ~ Written by Fred S. Fox and Seaman Jacobs

Synopsis

Lucy takes an interest in a new man (Robert Cummings), but the milkman tips off Kim that he may be a womanizing alcoholic. To protect her mother, Kim and Harry scheme to make him think the family is crazy, hoping he’ll run for the hills.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter), Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter)

Guest Cast

Robert Cummings (Bob Collins) was born in 1910 in Joplin, Missouri. His godfather was the aviation pioneer Wilbur Wright, so naturally he got his pilot’s license and studied aeronautical engineering. After the stock market crash of 1929, he gave flying up to study drama in New York City, making his Broadway debut in 1931. In 1934 he moved to Hollywood and started making films. During World War II he was a captain in the Air Force Reserves. His television career kicked off in 1952, winning an Emmy for his role in the series “My Hero.” Starting in 1955, Cummings starred on a successful NBC sitcom, “The Bob Cummings Show” (aka “Love That Bob”), in which he played Bob Collins (the same character name he uses in this episode of “Here’s Lucy”), an ex–World War II pilot who became a successful photographer. The show ended in July 1959, just a few months prior to filming “The Ricardos Go To Japan” the penultimate episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.” Cummings returned to “Here’s Lucy” for an episode in season 5. Cummings was married five times and fathered seven children. He died in 1990 at the age of 80.

Bob Collins graduated from Carnegie Tech and is a field representative for a cosmetics company. He enjoys dancing.

Mary Jane Croft (Mary Jane Lewis) played Betty Ramsey during season six of “I Love Lucy. ” She also played Cynthia Harcourt in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;E23) and Evelyn Bigsby in “Return Home from Europe” (ILL S5;E26). She played Audrey Simmons on “The Lucy Show” but when Lucy Carmichael moved to California, she played Mary Jane Lewis, the actor’s married name and the same one she uses on all 31 of her episodes of “Here’s Lucy. Her final acting credit was playing Midge Bowser on “Lucy Calls the President” (1977). She died in 1999 at the age of 83.

Billy Sands (Mr. Larson, the Milkman) returns to the role of Lucy’s Milkman from “Lucy’s Lucky Day” (S4;E15). Sands began his professional acting career in 1946 when he appeared on Broadway with Spencer Tracy in Robert Sherwood’s Rugged Path, but he eventually became a television character actor who appeared regularly as Dino Papparelli on “The Phil Silvers Show” and as ‘Tinker’ Bell on “McHale’s Navy.” He will make one more appearance on “Here’s Lucy” (but not as the milkman).

Larry J. Blake (Fire Chief, left) first appeared as a Native American Medicine Man in “Lucy the Rain Goddess” (TLS S4;E15). He was an ex-vaudevillian making the sixth of his eight “Here’s Lucy” appearances.

Orwin C. Harvey (Fireman, center) was an actor and stuntman who played one of the singing and dancing teamsters in “Lucy Helps Ken Berry” (TLS S6;E21). This is one of his six appearances on “Here’s Lucy.”

Sid Gould (Fireman, right) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” and nearly as many on “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton.

The script for this episode was dated October 6, 1971. It was filmed on October 28, 1971.

The title may have been inspired by the Charlie Chaplin silent film “Tillie’s Punctured Romance” (1914), remade in 1928 with W.C. Fields. It may have also inspired “Fester’s Punctured Romance,” a 1964 episode of “The Addams Family.”

In his book I Had A Ball: My Friendship with Lucille Ball, Michael Z. Stern recounts when he attended the filming of this episode in 1972.

The date this episode was originally aired, film director Walter Lang died at age 75. He had directed Lucille Ball (who was uncredited) in two films in 1935: Carnival and Hooray for Love. In 1957 Lang was nominated for an Oscar for directing The King and I.

As the episode opens, Mary Jane is sitting on the living room sofa reading the November 1968 issue of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. In “Redecorating the Mertzes’ Apartment” (ILL S3;E8), Lucy Ricardo says she got the idea to hold a painting party from reading Better Homes and Gardens. The magazine got plenty of airtime because the writers felt bad after making a ‘Better Homes and Garbage’ joke in “Men Are Messy” (ILL S1;E8).

In the Carter living room, the large gold-framed mirror on the landing has temporarily been replaced by an ornate cuckoo clock in order to make the final gag pay off. If the clock looks familiar, it was formerly in a home of “The Munsters” (1964-66) at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. The raven has been replaced by a cardinal, but it is otherwise identical. Both “Here’s Lucy” and “The Munsters” were filmed at Universal Studios. [Thanks to Lucy fan Bill Graff for spotting this!] In 1957, the same clock was seen on “Those Whiting Girls” – a Desilu production.

Also, just for this episode, the French doors in the living room can only be opened by banging on the wall above the fireplace mantle.

Lucille Ball’s ‘showgirl style’ entrance down the stairs gets a round of applause from the studio audience. Mary Jane admires her new outfit. Lucy and Bob (her new boyfriend) ‘met cute’ in the supermarket when she dropped her knockwurst and he dropped his sauerkraut.

The studio audience is very enthusiastic, also bursting into spontaneous applause for Bob’s entrance, Mary Jane’s exit, and the end of scene 1.

MILKMAN: “Cross my heart and hope to die. May my sweet cream curdle if I tell a lie.”

Mr. Larson the milkman reports that the Wilsons down the street are splitting up. Larson says his wife calls him her “homogenized Walter Winchell.” Walter Winchell (1897-1972) was a journalist and radio host who was the narrator of “The Untouchables.” His voice was heard (uncredited) in the 1949 Lucille Ball film Sorrowful Jones and “Lucy the Gun Moll” (TLS S4;E25). His name was in the lyrics of the Desi Arnaz song “We’re Having A Baby” sung on “Lucy is Enceinte” (ILL S2;E10). Winchell died just two weeks after this episode first aired.

Mr. Larson awkwardly used the ‘modern lingo’ with Kim:

Pad (apartment)
Swinger (wolf)
Splitsville (break up)

Kim calls Bob a “Cut-Rate Casanova”. Giacomo Girolamo Casanova (1725-1798) was an Italian adventurer and memoirist who’s name became synonymous with a man who seduces multiple women. Coincidentally, in "The Gossip” (ILL S1;E24), the milkman was labeled a “cottage cheese Casanova”!

In order to convince Bob Collins that the Carters are crazy, Kim and Harry do the following:

Convince Lucy that Collins is partially deaf, reads lips and has a hearing aid in his cuff links.
Pretend that Lucy has been married six times by prominently placing her wedding gown in the hall closet.
Having Kim make inappropriate advances on Collins while sitting on his lap.
Spiking Collins’ hors d’oeuvres with a concoction of Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, hot mustard and chili pepper.

“Lucy is just a deaf alcoholic who’s been married six times!”

Even after they confess their deceit, things get even crazier when Mary Jane shows up dressed as a chicken, Lucy banging on the wall to open the doors sets off the phonograph and the cuckoo clock, and Lucy burns the roast causing the fire department to smash the front door glass.

A flustered Mary Jane makes it clear to Bob that she is unmarried by stressing that she is MISS Lewis. Miss Lewis was also the name of a single lady who lived at 623 East 68th Street, played by Bea Benadaret in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15).

Lucy says that Bob Collins tangos better than Rudolph Valentino. The dance was responsible for the longest laugh in “I Love Lucy” history in “Lucy Does the Tango” (ILL S6;E20). Heartthrob actor of the silent era Rudolph Valentino was also mentioned in that episode. Valentino was one of Mrs. McGillicuddy’s favorite screen stars and was mentioned in “The Hedda Hopper Story” (ILL S4;E20) and “The Homecoming” (ILL S5;E6).

This is the first time that Lucy has had a boyfriend since Tony Rivera (Cesar Romero) in “A Date for Lucy” (S1;E19). Lucille Ball had no plans for Lucy Carter (or Lucy Carmichael) to have a serious relationship.

Robert Cummings played himself in a 1959 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” set in Japan.

A cuckoo clock played an integral role in “The Kleptomaniac” (ILL S1;E27). Lucy hid the clock under her coat – but the ‘cuckoo’ nearly gave her away!

A milkman (Bobby Jellison) was the conveyor of "The Gossip” (ILL S1;E24) about the marriage of the Ricardo’s neighbors Grace and Bill Foster.

Trying to make her mother out to be undesirable, Kim says that Lucy has always married men who’s last name begins with ‘C’ so she doesn’t have to change the monogram on her luggage! Is this a reference to “The Lucy Show”’s widow, Mrs. Carmichael? Other folks named Collins in the Lucy-verse include:

Kitty Collins – Lucille Ball’s character in the 1936 film Follow The Fleet
Sylvia Collins – an unseen character on “I Love Lucy”
Dr. Collins – Mr. Mooney’s eye doctor on “The Lucy Show”
Mr. Collins – Manager of Stacey’s Department Store on “The Lucy Show”
Eddie Collins – Viv’s boyfriend on “The Lucy Show”
Pat Collins – the ‘hip’ hypnotist on “The Lucy Show”

FAST FORWARD

Lucy would finally become Lucy Collins in a 1975 special titled “Lucy Gets Lucky” co-starring Dean Martin and set in Las Vegas.

Character Consistency! Two episodes earlier Kim moved out of the house into a garage apartment nearby. But in this episode she is apparently still living at home.

Fur Blur! When Lucy comes from the closet after retrieving her stole, the camera momentarily goes out of focus.

Props! On the bookshelves behind Lucy’s head, a small ceramic vase has been tipped over by some books. This was probably caused when the finale with Lucy banging on the wall and the picture frames falling was rehearsed before filming.

No Stove Is A Floating Island! In the kitchen, the counter top island has been awkwardly moved out of the way to make room for Lucy’s tango and give better sight lines of the refrigerator. This island also holds the cook top range, so it would be technically impossible for it to be un-grounded by electric wires or a gas hookup!

Cap Redact! The first letter of the name of the milkman’s dairy (mostly illegible) is covered with white tape. This was likely done to avoid any legal action by a company with the same name.

Let Yourself Out? When Kim marches into the living room to have a heart-to-heart talk with her mother about Bob, she leaves the milkman alone in the kitchen!

Wardrobe! Kim’s picnic table skirt does not have pockets, so there is a conspicuous pouch sewn to her waist in a slightly different pattern in order to hold the small bottle of spices she intends to use to spice up Bob’s

hors d’oeuvres.

Plot Loops! Mr. Larson thinks Bob Collins is a wolf because girls are seen coming and going from his home and he orders five quarts of orange juice daily. He reasons some people mix orange juice with liquor for wild parties. At the end of the episode, the girls are explained by his being a cosmetics distributor but the orange juice surplus is never explained. He may not be a wolf, but he might be a lush!