S6;E22
~ February 26, 1968
Synopsis
Lucy
and Viv break down in the middle of nowhere and happen upon Joan
Crawford’s house to call for help. Because Crawford is remodeling
and has no furniture, they believe her to be broke and arrange to
star her in a show so that producers will offer her work.
Regular
Cast
Lucille
Ball (Lucy
Carmichael / “Rusty”),
Gale
Gordon
(Theodore J. Mooney / “Scarface”)
Roy
Roberts
(Harrison Winfield Cheever) and Mary
Jane Croft (Mary
Jane Lewis) do not appear in this episode.
Guest
Cast
Joan
Crawford (Herself
/ “Cynthia”) was
born Lucille Fay LeSueur on March 23, 1905. She made her film debut
in 1925.
Mildred
Pierce (1945)
gave her an opportunity to show her range as an actress, and her
performance garnered Crawford her first, and only, Oscar for Best
Actress. She earned two additional Oscar nominations; in 1947 for Possessed; and in 1952 for Sudden Fear. In 1962 she and Bette
Davis
co-starred
in What
Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
(1962). Their longstanding rivalry may have helped fuel their phenomenally
well-received performances.
Crawford made her final screen appearance in 1970. She
died in 1977 at age 72. She was the subject of a tell-all 1978
biography and biopic titled Mommie
Dearest
(1982).
Vivian
Vance
(Viv Bunson / “Cuddles”) makes
her final appearance in the role she created, Lucy’s best friend
and former housemate, Vivian Bagley (now Bunson). Vance was born
Vivian Roberta Jones in Cherryvale, Kansas in 1909, although her
family quickly moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico where she was
raised. She had extensive theatre experience, co-starring on Broadway
with Ethel Merman in Anything
Goes.
She was acting in a play in Southern California when she was spotted
by Desi Arnaz and hired to play Ethel Mertz, Lucy Ricardo’s
neighbor and best friend. The pairing is credited with much of the
success of “I Love Lucy.” She made half a dozen appearances on “Here’s
Lucy,” as well as joining Ball for a TV special “Lucy Calls the
President” in 1977. Vance died two years later.
Viv Bunson is on a ten day vacation to California. Lucy are taking a Sunday drive to see the Pacific Ocean as the episode begins.
Lew
Parker
(Lew, Joan’s Agent) is
probably best remembered as the restaurateur father of Ann Marie,
Marlo Thomas’ character on TV’s “That Girl” (1966-71). This
is the last of his five appearances on “The Lucy Show” and he
will return for two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”
In the original script, the character was named Joel, but it was probably Lucy who suggested Parker use his real name, something she preferred.
Sid
Gould (“Speakeasy Waiter,”
uncredited) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all
as background characters. He also did 40 episodes of “Here’s
Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin
by marriage to Gary Morton.
Tony Dante (Speakeasy Patron, uncredited) made more than 20 uncredited appearances on Desilu’s “The Untouchables.” This is one of his two episodes of “The Lucy Show.” He did one episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1970.
Victor Romito (Speakeasy Patron, uncredited) was seen as the Bartender in “Lucy Meets John Wayne” (S5;E10). He also appeared in four episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Romito was an extra in the 1960 Lucille Ball / Bob Hope film Critic’s Choice and in Mame (1974).
The
other speakeasy patrons, waiters, and band members are played by
uncredited background performers.
This episode was first aired on February 26, 1968, which would have been William Frawley’s 81st birthday. He had died on March 3, 1966. His final TV appearance was on “The Lucy Show”.
It was also the birthday of several of Lucille Ball’s favorite co-stars:
- Jackie Gleason (56)
- Robert Alda (54)
- Tony Randall (48)
The revised final script was dated January 15, 1968.
Lucille Ball later called this episode one of the worst installments of her series.
Although
Jack Donohue is credited with directing this episode, some sources
report that Crawford’s friend, Herbert Kenwith, who had directed Lucy previously,
actually directed the episode. Kenwith begged Lucy to give Joan a second chance after she discovered Crawford passed out in her dressing room.
The Name Game!
Like Ball, Crawford’s birth name was Lucille, meaning there were two Lucilles on set! Going by her stage name, Crawford joins Ball’s other TV Joans:
- Joan Blondell
- Joan Rivers
- Joan Collins
- Joan Caulfield
- Joan Crosby
- Joan Banks
- Joan Swift
- Joan Carey
While “I Love Lucy” was airing on CBS, its main competitor on NBC was a sitcom called “I Married Joan” starring Joan Davis, who had an uncredited role in the 1935 film Bunker Bean starring Lucille Ball. On screen, Ball played a character named Joan in The Marines Fly High (1940) while Crawford played a character named Lucy in Strait-Jacket (1964).
Sources
say that Lucille
Ball
was
not happy during the making of this episode, as guest star Joan
Crawford
was
often drunk during rehearsals and filming, which led to frequent
arguments between the stars.
Crawford
was reportedly late for rehearsals and couldn’t remember her lines.
Joan feared that Lucy wanted her to replace her with Gloria Swanson,
the “lost star” for whom the episode was originally intended.
Lucy
had Joan continually repeat a dance number and then, in front of an
audience, abruptly cut the number because of Crawford’s poor
performance. Ironically, Joan Crawford first gained attention as a
young dancer.
Crawford
was so upset that at one point, she wouldn’t leave her dressing room.
According to Ball’s friend Kaye
Ballard,
it was Vanda
Barra,
a featured actress frequently seen on “The Lucy Show,” who
finally persuaded Crawford to continue with the show.
After
the filming was over, Crawford was quoted as saying,
Baby Jane & Lucy
In
“No More Double Dates” (S1;E21), Viv wants to see What
Ever Happened to Baby Jane (1962),
but Lucy thinks it will be too scary.
Joan
Crawford’s arch rival and Baby
Jane
co-star Bette Davis was scheduled to appear on “The Lucy-Desi
Comedy Hour” in 1957 but backed out at the last minute and was
replaced by Tallulah Bankhead. Ironically, Davis had replaced
Bankhead for the film version of The
Little Foxes.
Like Crawford, Bankhead and Lucy did not get along. Lucy
disapproved of both stars’ unprofessional behavior and their drinking
on set.
Another Oscar-nominated actor from Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, Victor Buono, will guest star in “Lucy Gets Her Man” (HL S1;E21) in 1969.
Background players in Baby Jane include “Lucy” actors Ralph Volkie, Jack Tornek, Bobs Watson, and James Seay.
“LUCY AND _____{fill in the blank}_____”
This
is the second movie star named Joan that had a well publicized feud
with Lucille Ball on “The Lucy Show.” The first was Joan
Blondell, who played neighbor Joan Bennett for two episodes. The
title of her first episode was “Lucy and Joan” (S4;E4), which
might have been the title of Joan Crawford’s appearance here, had it not
been already used. The script was likely so vaguely titled when it was
originally written for Gloria Swanson, just as “The Celebrity Next Door” would be an appropriate title for whoever was cast.
In
the episode, Lucy and Viv think Joan Crawford is broke but actually
she’s not. However, later in her life, Crawford actually did struggle
financially.
Crawford gets a ‘star reveal’ entrance, turning to face the camera after the scene has already started, greeted by a warm round of applause from the studio audience.
The
plot point that Crawford is a cleaning fanatic is taken right out of
her personal life. Several scenes in the biopic Mommie
Dearest
(1982, right) depict Joan’s fanatical devotion to cleaning. In this
episode, Joan doesn’t trust her maid to get things really
clean, just as in Mommie
Dearest.
Viv
calls Joan Mildred
Pierce.
This was the name of the title character of the 1945 film that won
Crawford her only acting Oscar.
Both
Viv and Mr. Mooney separately declare that Joan Crawford is their
all-time favorite.
Lucy has previously said that Ginger Rogers is her all-time favorite
star.
Lucy
says that
“Mr. Mooney wouldn’t lend a dime to Richard Burton even if he left
Elizabeth Taylor as collateral.” This is yet another mention of the married acting couple Richard
Burton and
Elizabeth Taylor.
The two will appear together (as themselves) on a 1970 episode of
“Here’s Lucy.”
When
Mr. Mooney sees Lucy and Viv together, he calls them the Smothers
Mothers. The
Smothers Brothers were
real-life brothers who had a TV variety show on CBS from 1967-70
called “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.” It is true that
both Lucy and Viv are both mothers, but they do not mention their
children during this episode.
The
charity show is called “Speak Easy Daze”
written by Lucille Carmichael and presented by the Good Samaritan
Players. It is never clear if The Good Samaritan Players are an
actual group or something that Lucy and Viv made up to protect
Crawford’s pride.
A “speak easy” (or speakeasy) is a business that illegally served alcohol during the prohibition era (1920 to 1933) in the United States.
The
show opens in a speakeasy with dancers performing to “I’m
Just Wild About Harry,”
a
song written in 1921 by Eubie
Blake for
the Broadway
show
Shuffle
Along.
The band briefly plays “Ain’t
We Got Fun” by
Richard
A. Whiting,
first
performed in the revue Satires
of 1920.
The last song is “The
Charleston”
by
James
P. Johnson,
which
originated in the Broadway
show
Runnin’
Wild (1923)
and
became one of the most popular hits of the decade.
When
Cuddles (Viv) first sees Cynthia (Crawford) she says “Well,
it ain’t the flying nun.”
“The Flying Nun”
was a popular sitcom starring Sally Field (1967-70) that aired on
Thursday nights on ABC TV. The joke likely relies on Joan’s unusually big hat resembling the nun’s bird-like cornette and her ladylike appearance. Lucy calls Cynthia’s hat an “umbrella.”
Hearing her Southern accent, Rusty (Lucy) calls Cynthia (Crawford) Honeysuckle Rose. The song “Honeysuckle Rose” was written by Fats Waller in 1929. Coincidentally, Lena Horne sung it in MGM’s 1943 film Thousands Cheer, which also featured Lucille Ball.
When
Scarface (Mr. Mooney) enters the speakeasy the soundtrack plays the
theme from “The
Untouchables” (1959-63) written by Nelson Riddle.
This was a Desilu-produced crime show that was satirized in “Lucy
the Gun Moll”
(S4;E25).
Callbacks!
In October 1959, Lucille Ball and Joan Crawford were two of the many stars paying tribute to former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt on NBC’s “Sunday Showcase.”
Lucy
previously played a 1920s flapper named Rusty in “Lucy
the Gun Moll” (S4;E25),
a satire on the Desilu TV show “The Untouchables” (1959-63).
When
Lucy and Viv are stranded in the middle of nowhere and open the hood
to see what is wrong with the car, the scene is reminiscent of when
Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz had a flat tire in the middle of nowhere
when they are “Off to Florida” (ILL S6;E6).
(Lucy Carmichael is looking under the hood.)
VIV: “What are you looking for?”
LUCY: “Well, how do I know? This is what everybody else does!”
(Lucy Ricardo curses in Spanish and kicks the flat tire.)
ETHEL: “What are you doing that for?”
LUCY: “That’s what Ricky always does when he changes a tire.”
Although Joan Crawford never appeared on “I Love Lucy” her name was dropped in two episodes:
- On Lucy and Ethel’s bus tour of the Hollywood homes in “The Tour” (ILL S4;E30, above)
- and in the forecourt of the Chinese Theatre when “Lucy Visits Grauman’s” (ILL S5;E1)
Although
Lucy Carmichael was once a newspaper reporter, this is her first
brush with writing for the stage. On “I Love Lucy” Lucy Ricardo
wrote “The Pleasant Peasant” and “A Tree Grows in Havana / The
Perils of Pamela.”
Fast Forward!
On a 1971 episode of “Here’s Lucy,” Lucy Carter is having a garage sale and models a fur-lined jacket she says was worn by Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce. Her son Craig says that judging by the shoulder pads she could have worn it in The Spirit of Notre Dame, a 1931 football-themed movie NOT featuring Crawford.
In March 1974, both Lucille Ball and Joan Crawford took part in the CBS Radio broadcast “The American Movie”.
Herbert Kenwith, the assumed director of this episode, appeared in the TV documentary film, “Joan Crawford: The Ultimate Movie Star” in 2002 as well as the 2008 documentary short “Tough Girl: Torch Song” also about Crawford, which was released a month after Kenwith’s death.
Blooper
Alerts!
Lucy
says that Joan has “agreed to appear ON the show” which is
something one might say about a television show, but not a stage
appearance. She probably should have said “agreed to appear IN the
show”. Doubtless Lucille Ball is thinking about Crawford
agreeing to appear ON her show.
When
Joan is headed out of the room, a small white object is moving a bit
just off stage. This is a backstage assistant ready to hand the camp
stools to Joan Crawford for her next entrance.
When
Lucy, Viv and Joan toast with their lemonade and Lucy’s candy glass
goblet shatters, the stem of Joan’s cup also breaks off. She
momentarily has no way to set down the full cup! Luckily, the scene blacks
out.
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