“Equal Rights”

(S3;E4 ~ October 26, 1953) Directed by William Asher. Written by

Jess Oppenheimer, Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Filmed September 24, 1953 at Ren-Mar Studios.  

Rating: 60.2/84

Synopsis ~ Tired of Ricky and Fred’s attitude towards them, the girls demand equal rights. Ricky and Fred turn the tables on them when, out to dinner, they call for separate checks, and Ethel and Lucy must wash dishes to pay for their meals.

The story is based on Lucy’s radio show “My Favorite Husband” episode “Women’s Rights (part 1)” aired on March 3, 1950.

Ricky gets tired of Lucy’s lateness and constant interruptions and demands that his house be run like it was in Cuba, “where the man is the master and the woman does what she’s told.” Lucy naturally rebels and insists on equal rights, which the boys take to the extreme. 

FRED: “You’ve got the vote, you wear pants, you drive buses, you wrestle, you go every place you please except the steam room in the YMCA.” 

Between the time this episode was filmed and aired, our Mexican neighbors finally granted women the right to vote. Despite the promising title, the episode turns into a familiar ‘boys against the girls’ scenario with Lucy and Ethel turning the tables on the men, who briefly end up behind bars.

At the start of the episode, Fred tells a story about some land he bought in Miami that turned out to be a scam. This is never mentioned again, even when the gang head to Florida in season 6. 

Ricky tells a rather confusing story about last Fourth of July’s musicians picnic attended by Marco, Alberto, Pepin, Joe, and Ralph. All of these were actual members of the Ricky Ricardo / Desi Arnaz  Orchestra who played live during filming, even when they were not part of the on camera action: Marco Rizo, Alberto Calderon, Pepin Betancourt, Joe Carioca, and Ralph Brady.

The first act of treating the girls as equals is to not help them on with their coats. Instead, Fred and Ricky toss the coats aside and indulge in a little ad lib chat about the plumber.  

Oops!  William Frawley’s ad lib contains a blooper. 

FRED: “I phoned him this morning, he’s coming out this afternoon…”  

It is already night and they are headed to dinner!  Frawley doubles down on the error after Lucy’s brief interruption. 

Lucy wants to go to a steak house on 45th Street, but Ricky says that he’s in the mood for spaghetti, so they go to an Italian restaurant on 39th Street near 8th Avenue. 

Ricky calls the headwaiter Xavier, which gets a laugh from the studio audience. Xavier Cugat was a fellow Latin musician that once employed Desi Arnaz, but was Ricky Ricardo’s biggest rival. Lawrence Dobkin played Xavier. He was previously seen in “Ricky and Fred are TV Fans” (S2;E30) and would re-appear as a French counterfeiter in “Paris at Last” (S5;E18).  

The large painting on the wall is titled “Peasant Dance” (1568) by Pieter Breugel the Elder. The original is held at the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna. Breugel was a Dutch artist, so it is odd to find this painting in an Italian restaurant.  

We never learn the name of the restaurant just its location.  The menus just say ‘Menu’ on the front.  Although this is an Italian Restaurant, only the checkered table cloth and a few Chianti bottles are indicative of the cuisine. Lawrence Dobkin does not attempt an Italian accent.  The part might have been better cast with Louis Nicoletti, one of the show’s regular Italian-American performers. Just a few months later, in “The Black Wig” (S3;E26), the episode will conclude at an Italian Restaurant named Tony’s with Nicoletti playing the waiter. 

There are four background performers playing the other diners.  Hazel Pierce, Lucy’s camera and lighting stand-in, is at the table in the back with an unidentified man. 

The usual niceties accorded the fairer sex are ignored by the boys. 

Ricky sits in the chair the waiter pulls out instead of allowing Lucy to sit first. 

The boys then order before the girls.  Ricky and Fred order meatballs, spaghetti, pizza, and coffee, with Fred ordering a green salad as well.  Lucy and Ethel order steaks with spaghetti on the side. Lucy wants hers medium rare; Ethel orders hers well done. 

The boys don’t offer the girls cigarettes or light them!  It is hard to imagine today, but in the 1950s smoking in restaurants was typical and this one is no exception. Vivian Vance and William Frawley were not smokers, and only smoked when the script called for it, which it does here. These are Philip Morris Cigarettes, naturally.  

Ricky doesn’t pick up Lucy’s dropped purse.

When the girls fix their make up at the table, the boys pull out razors! 

And finally – separate checks! When the girls don’t have the money to pay their share, they are forced to wash dishes, a common TV trope of the time.

Lucille Ball was a perfectionist in all aspects of her work. During rehearsals for this episode, she spent hours trying to find the perfect paper bag to make the sound of the fake gunshot. She tested all different shapes and sizes of bags until she found one that satisfied her. 

ETHEL: “Promise me you’ll donate your brain to science.”
LUCY: “Ok.” 

Lucy and Ethel seem to have a great deal of fun pantomiming an armed robbery for the boys over the telephone. They even skip back to the sink, hand in hand. 

When Ricky and Fred disguise themselves as bandits, Lucy and Ethel are carrying tall stacks of plates – which they will drop in surprise. It is rather apparent that the plates are rigged to stay together and are made of lightweight plastic. When they crash to the floor, a sound effect is added in to complete the moment and mask the sound of the plastic hitting the hard floor. When the policemen finally arrive, a wide shot reveals the stacked plates still connected lying horizontally on the floor!  

The arresting officers are played by Fred Aldrich (left), who appeared in four other episodes, and Louis Nicoletti, who was a veteran of 15 episodes. Nicoletti later served as assistant director of “The Lucy Show,” The Long, Long Trailer and “Here’s Lucy,” in all of which he also made cameo appearances. 

The police officer in the final scene is Richard Reeves, who played Bill Foster for two episodes, but was last seen as the tall Indian in “The Indian Show” (S2;24).

ETHEL: “I guess this shriveled up one is his father. I wonder how grandpa kisses?” 

As usual, the episode ends with a kiss, but Fred and Ethel’s smooch is an obviously fake air kiss, confirming the fact that William Frawley and Vivian Vance didn’t like one another off camera.

FAST FORWARD! 

The bank of ice boxes behind Lucy and Ethel in the restaurant kitchen will later be used in “The Diner” (S3;E27) and “The Black Wig” (S3;E26).  

Balancing secretly connected plates was a vaudeville gag that Lucy Carmichael performed in “Ethel Merman and the Boy Scout Show” (TLS S2;E19) in 1964.